


Consequences

by MadDoctorArtist



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-30 23:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6446266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDoctorArtist/pseuds/MadDoctorArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Choices (NB- you don't have to read that before this one to understand what happens). Despite saving Arl Eamon and recruiting the Elves, Elissa’s troubles are far from over. Leliana is keen to put her quarrel with Marjolaine to rest, but Elissa must also contend with the uproar in Denerim and her final confrontation with Loghain. With her growing feelings towards the bard conflicting with her duty, can she face the consequences of foregoing one for the other? COMPLETE. **NEW UPDATED VERSION APR 2017*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Enough!”

Zathrian threw up his hands, his staff clattering to the ground. I stopped in mid-strike, the sparse sunlight glinting off my blades. The others also ceased, and watchful eyes fell upon the elven Keeper. It seemed even he had been outmatched.

Alistair stepped back, his brow sweaty, when Swiftrunner roared.

“Kill him now!” he bellowed, making to charge.

“No, don’t!” Leliana jumped into his path, an arrow nocked. “Lady, stop him!”

“Swiftrunner, no more!” Witherfang held out her arm, trapping the werewolf. Swiftrunner snarled, eyes blazing, but Witherfang’s stare was just as keen. “We will _not_ kill him.” She shook her head. “How can you act like this? If there is no room for mercy in our hearts, how can we expect there to be room in his?”

Swiftrunner bared his teeth, and for a moment I thought he would shove Witherfang aside. But then his shoulders relaxed, and he stilled. The other werewolves, however, turned restless. They pushed between us, circling Zathrian. Witherfang came last, looking down on him with something that might have been sadness. My jaw tensed. After all the years of bitterness and fighting, it had finally come down to this.

“I…I cannot do as you ask, spirit.” Zathrian was too ashamed to look up. “I am too old to know mercy. All I see are the faces of my children, my people.” His fingers clawed at the ground. “I can’t go through with it!”

His shoulders trembled, and I clenched my fist. He couldn’t truly believe that. Both sides had suffered such tragedy in equal measure. How could he let this continue?

“Has this not gone on long enough?” I asked. “Haven’t your people, the ones you are sworn to protect, also suffered for the sake of your vengeance?”

“You do not understand.” Zathrian traced his fingers over his staff. “It is all I have come to know.” He closed his eyes, shivering. “My hatred is like an ancient gnarled root. It has consumed my soul. To even think there might be an end…” He found his courage, and met Witherfang’s gaze. “What about you, spirit? Do you not fear the end?”

Witherfang shut her eyes.

“You made me, Zathrian,” she began, “breathing will and consciousness where none existed. I have known the joys and sorrows of life; memories I am both grateful and angry to have experienced. Such things I will always hold close to me.” She held out her hands. “But what I now desire most of all is an _end_. I cannot bear this any longer.” Her voice cracked. “I beg you, maker. Show mercy!”

The werewolves growled in agreement, and even Swiftrunner’s eyes betrayed his pleading. Zathrian looked to them, his expression remorseful. I held my breath.

At last, the Keeper bowed his head.

“You shame me, spirit,” he said. “I am an old man, alive well past his time. Perhaps I have clung to this horror for so long out of fear of my own end. But no more.”

Witherfang’s face lit up.

“Then you will do it?” she asked. “You will end the curse?”

“Yes.” Zathrian’s eyes met mine, filled with new understanding. “I think it is time. Let us put an end to it all.”

Relieved, I retreated to the back of the chamber. It seemed we had come to a resolution at last. My companions followed, and Zathrian rose to his feet. He took a moment to compose himself, before he raised his staff. Gentle light emerged, intertwining with the daylight rays that hailed from above. I stared, entranced, when it erupted into brilliance.

Almost at once Zathrian and Witherfang collapsed. The light remained, becoming a spinning disc, until it burst into sparks. The shower engulfed the werewolves, and their forms started to change. Swiftrunner arched his neck back, overwhelmed with the cleansing aura. I had to shield my eyes; it was too dazzling.

When the brightness eventually vanished, I looked back to the gathering. Yet not a werewolf stood before me. Instead I was met with a crowd of men and women. Some stared at one another in disbelief, while others wept with joy. ‘Swiftrunner’ kept turning his hands over, and he broke into a wide smile.

“It’s over.” His rumbling growl had vanished. “She’s gone, and we’re human!” Tears spilled down his cheeks, and he wrapped his arms around himself. “I can’t believe it!”

His enthusiasm stirred a smile of my own. They had probably never thought this day would come.

“What will you do now?” I asked.

‘Swiftrunner’ shrugged.

“We’ll leave the forest, see what’s out there for us. Maker knows we’ve had enough of this place.” He clasped his hands and bowed. “Words can barely express our thanks, Warden. You’ve achieved the impossible. We will never forget this. And we will never interfere with the Dalish again.”

He beckoned to the others, and they hurried towards the exit. Soon we were left in silence, and I glanced to the floor. Witherfang had vanished, returned to the Fade, but Zathrian’s body remained. He appeared peaceful, and I knelt down, crossing his arms over his chest. Perhaps now he would be reunited with his children.

“Well, t’was certainly an interesting venture.” Morrigan broke the quiet, giving a stretch. “If rather time-consuming.” She turned to me, brow raised. “Shall we wait for you to finish mourning, Warden, or can we move ahead and confirm the allegiance of the Dalish?”

Her tone provoked a scowl, although I knew why she brought this up. After my reaction to Lady Isolde’s death, it was only natural. But I would not be repeating that mistake again.

“Why mourn when such a horrible conflict has finally been ended?” I answered. “Zathrian instigated the curse, and we convinced him to let go. Now the Dalish can know peace.”

“I just hope they don’t take this the wrong way,” Alistair said, shuffling on his feet. “What if they accuse us of murdering their Keeper?”

“The curse will have been lifted on their wounded as well,” Wynne pointed out. “They will believe us. Also, I believe Lanaya suspected Zathrian had some involvement all along. We should have nothing to fear.”

“So let’s not keep them waiting,” I said. “Come on.”

I led the way to the crumbled steps, leaving Zathrian in the chamber. It felt wrong to move him; I would have to ask Lanaya to arrange proper rites. Still, while I was disappointed he’d had to sacrifice himself, I was relieved the casualties had been minimal. The werewolves were cured, and the curse would no longer plague the Dalish as well. Given the near-disaster I’d caused in Redcliffe, it was a reassuring step forward.

We emerged into the heart of the forest, the scents of oak and pine carrying across the breeze. Even the dusk sun was harsh after so long shut underground, and I rubbed my eyes. Zevran chuckled.

“Worn out already?” he asked.

“Just glad to be out of the ruins,” I said, the taste of dust still souring my lips. “And thankful we didn’t have to turn the battle into a bloodbath.”

Zevran nodded, resting his hands behind his head.

“It’s not often I would agree with such sentiment,” he admitted, “but this time around I must concede. I would not have liked such stains on my hands.”

“Indeed,” Wynne added. “I am glad both sides in this conflict could be saved.”

“At the very least we have secured another allegiance,” Morrigan said, looking disgruntled. “Although I must admit, t’is a miracle we have come this far.”

“You’re telling me,” I muttered under my breath. In fact our whole journey had almost unravelled, thanks to my carelessness at Redcliffe. I’d abandoned my companions, too lost in my own guilt, and ended up facing the consequences of my foolishness.

My left hand burned, and I clenched my fingers. Yet by the grace of Andraste I’d pulled through, returned to my senses, and now our goal was closer than ever. Nonetheless, the hardest task still lay ahead—one I had both longed for and dreaded for quite some time.

When I would finally confront the nightmare that had haunted me from the very beginning…

A hand touched my shoulder, and I blinked. Alistair smiled.

“Yet another crisis averted,” he said, flashing a thumbs-up. “I don’t know how you do it, Elissa.”

“It’s hardly a solo effort,” I replied.

“Yeah, but it’s still impressive,” Alistair went on. “You’ve made us go beyond anything I could’ve hoped for.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Back in the Kokari Wilds, I couldn’t see any way out. I was convinced we’d already lost.” He spread his arms. “And now we’ve almost united the entire kingdom! I’m starting to think we might actually have a chance against the darkspawn.”

“We’re not finished yet,” I reminded him. “And convincing the nobles to turn against Loghain when they believe we murdered King Cailan is going to be a whole lot harder than breaking some ancient spell.”

Alistair sighed.

“You always have to rain on my parade,” he whined, adjusting his shield. “But don’t forget, Arl Eamon’s on our side. That’s something Loghain won’t have counted on.”

“Not to mention your royal blood,” I added.

The words struck close, and Alistair glanced aside. I sighed. It seemed acknowledging his royal heritage still left him uncomfortable. I could not blame him, for I knew too well what sacrifices such duty would demand. Even so, it was something he’d have to learn to accept, just as I had. He was our only leverage against Loghain, and we needed to show his claim to the throne was stronger than Anora’s. And as much as Alistair valued his freedom as a Grey Warden, it was a price we could no longer afford.

The last of the ruins fell behind us, and the lush greenery of the Brecilian Forest took over. With the fog banished, there was no longer a chill in my blood, but I knew better than to let my guard down. Nonetheless, Duke had other ideas. The mabari barked happily, bounding along the trail that would take us to the Dalish camp. Leliana smiled, laughing as he stumbled through the twigs, his stubby tail wagging.

I swallowed, turning my attention back to the path. Since my recovery from the black locust poisoning, the bard had kept something of a distance, and I wasn’t sure why. It had been a rough experience, for certain, but I hadn’t thought it would leave such a mark on her. Considering what she’d been through before I even met her…

“Now now, Warden,” Morrigan teased, “you should not gawk so openly. She might notice.”

A slight warmth crept upon my cheeks.

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stammered, hiding my face in my collar.

“Of course you do not,” Morrigan replied. “Just as you are ignorant of Oghren’s fanciful drinking habits.”

She slinked off without further comment. I bit my lip, wondering how she’d mastered such keen ways to get under my skin. What was it to her, anyway? She’d never been the type to be jealous.

A sudden glint of metal caught my eye, and I stopped dead. Wynne almost walked straight into me. Her brow creased, a retort on her lips, but I held up my hand. Something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong?” Alistair asked, a hand on his sword hilt.

I took a breath, meaning to answer, but Zevran beat me to it.

“Up there!” he cried. “Leliana, look out!”

Leliana glanced skywards, only to immediately throw herself to the ground. A throwing knife landed behind her, and her eyes widened. The trees to my left rustled, and my lip curled.

_Assassins._

“Spread out!” I ordered, snatching my blades free. My gaze darted from trunk to trunk, until I finally spotted movement.

Snarling, I charged through the branches, and my target appeared. The assassin tried to throw another knife, but I was faster. My sword sliced through her arm, and she cried out. Blood splattered onto her armour, and a sharp blow to the head later, she was unconscious.

Kicking her fallen knives away, I scrambled back to the others. Sten and Oghren had mown through three more cut-throats, and Alistair and Sten dragged another between them. Morrigan and Wynne stood above the final one, his body still glowing with magic. My jaw tensed.

“Where’s Leliana?” I asked.

“She chased one of the men down that way,” Zevran said, pointing with his dagger. “Duke went with her.”

My breath caught. A trap!

Teeth clenched, I bolted into the trees once more. The boughs scratched my shoulders, the undergrowth hungry for my legs, but I tore through, frantically checking around. There was nothing but ranks of featureless trunks; the same view in all directions. I hissed. _Where in Andraste’s name were they?_

At last Duke’s bark caught my ear, and my heart swelled. They had come further south than I’d realised. I changed course, and the trees began to part again. The ground turned to softened mud, and it wasn’t long before water licked at my ankles. Then boot and paw prints emerged on the bank, and I renewed my pace. They had to be close.

Suddenly Duke let out a whine, and it was followed by Leliana’s scream.

Swearing, I forced myself to take longer strides. The branches receded, and a flash of red hair stuck out. Leliana was on her knees beneath a fallen willow, surrounded by three men. She was clutching her arm. Duke was between them, a bloody streak down his flank. He stood his ground, hackles raised, when an assassin raised his sword at him.

I whistled loudly, and the man snapped his head towards me. That was enough for Duke, who sprang and tackled him to the ground. His companions yelped, making to counter, but they were too slow. My dagger tore into the first man’s throat, and blood fountained from the gaping wound.

He’d barely hit the ground before I spun around, seeking the last assassin, but I needn’t have bothered. Leliana’s knife had ploughed between the man’s ribs, and he choked. She kicked his legs out from under him, and he collapsed into the water, unmoving. Duke’s bark of triumph soon followed, and I breathed a sigh of relief. That had been far too close.

Leliana doubled over, her dagger slipping from her fingers.

“Leliana!” I sheathed my weapons and grasped her shoulder. Blood stained my fingers, and she winced. “Are you alright?”

“Just a scratch,” Leliana said, leaning into me. “I should’ve known they were waiting.”

“Hold still, let me fix that.” I reached into my pouch, producing a bandage. It was more than just a scratch; her entire forearm was caked crimson, and her face was pale. Wynne would do a better job later, but I had to stop the bleeding at least.

Leliana gritted her teeth, determined not to cry out as I pressed hard against the wound.

“Your touch is as gentle as ever,” she joked, though it was more to distract herself from the pain.

“You’re one to talk,” I smirked.

“I feel such a fool.” Leliana clenched her fist. “I’ve laid such traps before, I should’ve realised. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Easily done in the heat of the moment,” I assured.

Leliana nodded. She reached out, resting her hand over mine.

“Thank you, Elissa,” she said. “And…sorry.”

I rolled my eyes. “What did I just say?”

Leliana tensed slightly. “Not for…well…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”

An awkward silence descended, and I let out a breath. Leliana kept her eyes on the stream, a slight tinge to her cheeks. She held her arm rigid, as if afraid to betray a tremor. I raised a brow, curious. Why was she suddenly so nervous? We had tended each other plenty of times before.

Perhaps it was bringing back too many dark memories.

“Can I ask you something?” I licked my lips, my tone cautious.

“Of course.” Leliana looked up, and that was when her eyes caught me. I’d always thought them to be grey, but they were actually a very pale blue. Unusual, even for an Orlesian, but undeniably pretty. For a second I forgot myself, and simply stared back.

“Um…I…”

“There they are!”

Alistair’s voice broke the moment. I turned away, partly relieved, but also a little disappointed. Alistair was marching up the stream, Wynne at his side. When they reached us, Wynne took one look at my bloodied hand and shook her head.

“You do realise it would have been easier to call me?” She gently pushed me away and examined Leliana’s wound. “The bleeding seems to have stopped for a time, too.”

“I…well…I was worried, it seemed a lot.” I rubbed the back of my neck. Maker above, what was wrong with me?

“That I can understand,” Wynne answered, “but try not to leave it so long next time.” She spread her hands over Leliana’s shoulder, and began to mend the cut. I watched, relieved as the colour returned to the bard’s face.

Alistair cleared his throat.

“There’s something you should know, Elissa,” he said. “We questioned one of the assassins, and she told us a few interesting things.”

“Oh?”

“Well, judging from their Denerim colours, I assumed they’d been sent by Loghain,” Alistair said, “but it turns out your Orlesian lady-friend is still out for blood.” He held up a piece of parchment, bearing a signature I’d seen before. My mouth went dry.

“What?!” Leliana shot to her feet, only to stumble into Wynne’s arms. She wasn’t quite recovered. “Marjolaine knows I’m still alive?”

“Looks like it,” Alistair said. “She’s certainly well-informed, though. I didn’t think anyone would find us in the forest.”

“Me neither,” I growled, my left fist clenching. Of all places for that witch to send her hounds…they must have been following us, waiting for other battles to wear us down.

“This has gone on long enough.” Leliana’s grey-blue eyes were pleading. “Elissa, I beg you, I must end this once and for all. I will not have Marjolaine pursue me forever!”

“You’re not the only one who wants to pay her back,” I said, absently rubbing the scar on my left hand. “Don’t worry, Leliana. The moment we set foot in Denerim, we’ll make her regret ever leaving Orlais.” I clasped her wrist. “I swear it.”


	2. Chapter Two

Denerim was heaving, and I frowned, drawing my cloak closer. I had not thought the city would still be so full of life. Our darkspawn encounters had become increasingly frequent, and with the south completely taken over, it was a wonder more people hadn’t started to flee further north. Then again, Loghain had downplayed the Blight from the beginning, so perhaps it was to be expected. He would not get far ruling a kingdom if most of its citizens had left.

We weaved through the carts and horses, picking a path towards the gates. Still, even with my companions beside me, I couldn’t quite push back the tightness in my chest. Memories of my last visit were never far, and I deliberately steered clear of any mercenaries. Leliana kept her gaze ahead, absently running her fingers over her bowstring.

As we entered the market square, a pair of Redcliffe soldiers appeared. They came straight for us, removing their helmets, and bowed.

“Warden, we’ve been waiting for you,” one said. He gestured to the estate behind him. “Arl Eamon wishes to speak with you as soon as possible.”

Leliana’s eyes narrowed, and I had to force back a grimace. The Arl had been patient enough for us to recruit the Dalish; why the sudden rush now? Further, if Marjolaine caught wind of our return, she’d go into hiding and we might never find her again. Nevertheless, even I couldn’t turn down a direct summons.

I flashed Leliana an apologetic look, before turning to the soldier.

“Very well, take us to him,” I said.

The soldiers nodded, then walked off towards the estate. Its dark walls towered above the other buildings, blotting out the sunlight, yet it still seemed welcoming. The gate was opened, and we headed inside. Leliana fiddled with her collar, her lips pursed.

“We’ll get to Marjolaine when we can,” I said quietly, touching her arm. “You know we need to deal with the Arl first.”

Leliana nodded, her grey-blue eyes distant. She had been like this since we had left the forest, and it left me on edge, as well. I could only pray she could hold her patience a little longer.

We entered the lavish rooms, crossing plush rugs and ornate portraits. The sight stirred memories of Highever, and I had to swallow the pangs in my chest. After so long in the wilderness, I had almost forgotten such a way of life. Other feelings began to surface, and I let out a breath. Father also had a similar estate in a different part of the city. Though whether it still bore the Cousland name was another matter.

The Arl was waiting in his study, standing before a mahogany desk. Thanks to the Ashes of Andraste, he’d made a full recovery, although he still looked somewhat haggard. Not helped by the fact that Teagan and I had had to explain what happened to Isolde, and why Connor had been taken away by the Templars. But that was all behind us now. I had to focus on the future.

“Ah, welcome Warden,” the Arl greeted. He gestured to the parchment-filled desk, and we gathered around. “I’m glad you have finally made it. Did your expedition to the Dalish go as planned?”

“Yes,” I said. “They’ve realised their obligation to the Grey Wardens, and will join us against the Blight.”

“That is excellent news,” the Arl said. “Sadly, I have not the same tidings to share.” He stooped over the desk, picking through some documents. “Loghain has been busy since the King’s death, and we have a lot of work to undo the damage he’s wrought.”

He settled on a letter, and opened it out.

“My scouts have been keeping their ears open, and what they’ve found troubles me,” he said. “Something is going on in the elven alienage, which has been locked down. The soldiers claim it’s because of rioting, but rumours are going around about blood magic and Maker-knows what else. It seems to be getting worse, too, and the whole city is uneasy. Further, Loghain is very much tied to all this, and it could be instrumental in winning the Landsmeet.”

Alistair’s fist clenched.

“Wouldn’t surprise me that Loghain would be involved in such things,” he muttered.

“Yes, but hearsay and rumours won’t be enough,” the Arl countered. “We need to investigate what has been happening and obtain proof, before Loghain tries to mask his actions.” He turned to me. “You are in a better position to do this than I.”

I hesitated, Leliana’s gaze upon me. The situation did sound troubling, but…

“You know Loghain won’t make life easy for us,” Alistair said, picking up on my silence. “If we delay, we could lose our chance to take him down.”

“But if Marjolaine sends more assassins, we will be fighting on two fronts,” Leliana cut in.

“I doubt any assassin would want to approach the alienage right now,” Wynne said, “especially if there are rumours about blood magic. We have to see if this is true or not.”

I clenched my jaw. Maker’s breath, this was unfair. But what could I do? I didn’t have much time to make a case against Loghain, and with the tarnished reputation of the Wardens, I needed all the dirt I could find. However, I didn’t like the thought of leaving Marjolaine alone, either. She could well set up another ambush, and then we would be in trouble.

Yet part of me wondered if she would truly risk such a course. She was not the type to soil her own hand, and she’d want to avoid bringing the battlefront to her doorstep. Further, as much as I too desired revenge, I couldn’t let my feelings dictate. The Blight was more important.

Marjolaine would have to wait.

“If the alienage problem is escalating, we need to deal with it quickly,” I said. “We don’t want Loghain interfering before we find the truth.”

Leliana blinked, wounded. Her recovery was swift, however, and her eyes darkened.

“So you’ll just let Marjolaine casually attack us while we’re distracted?” she scoffed.

I leant over the desk, the tension spreading.

“If we don’t tackle things in the right way, we could cause an even bigger mess,” I said carefully. “If we go after Marjolaine first, the alienage problem could spiral out of control, and it’ll almost certainly alert Loghain. We can’t afford that.”

Leliana’s lip curled.

“And while our backs our turned, Marjolaine could send her assassins, slip away and we’d lose her trail forever!” She crossed her arms. “If you no longer feel her a threat, then I will deal with her myself.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” I shot back. “Everyone in this city is against us as it is, and Loghain’s loyalists will be onto you before you even get near her.”

“Don’t underestimate me,” Leliana said, her tone low.

“It’s not a question of skill,” I growled. “Challenging her alone is a fool’s errand, and you know it!”

Leliana’s fist clenched, but whatever retort was on her lips was interrupted.

“Warden, I appreciate you might have other business, but I implore you to keep focus,” Arl Eamon said. “If we can’t convince the nobles to stand against Loghain, Ferelden will remain in disarray, and your efforts will have come to nothing. We cannot fail now we are so close.”

“I only have Ferelden’s best interests foremost!” I snapped. The Arl blinked, taken aback, and I cringed. Better salvage this before it got out of hand. “As…As I said, we will investigate the alienage once we are recovered from our journey. Now please excuse me.”

I turned and left the study before more words could be exchanged. An unthinkable gesture, but I was consumed with cold fury, and I didn’t want to dig myself a deeper grave. Why was it that after proving myself countless times, my loyalty was still questioned? Hadn’t I done enough for Ferelden already?

And Leliana…

Her outburst replayed in my mind, and I held a hand to my chest. I hadn’t wanted to upset her like that. Her anger was not misplaced, either. I was going against my word, after all. Yet it was thoughtless actions that had landed me in trouble in the first place. I had to keep my reason. If we spent too long chasing Marjolaine, Loghain would block our movements, and by the time we cleared our name, the darkspawn would be knocking on the gates. And that was without the other concern nagging in the back of my mind. No, in these closing moments, I could afford no more mistakes.

I had to make Leliana understand that.

The close-knit corridors suddenly seemed to close in, stifling and hot, so I left for the courtyard. Some fresh air would help clear my head.

A pleasant breeze drifted through, and I sat beside the well. Distant chatter from the market mixed with the twittering birds, and I rested my chin in my hand, my eyes closing. Being torn between what _I_ wanted and what others expected of me was really starting to wear thin. Not only was I forced to watch Leliana struggle, but I myself couldn’t get back at the woman who’d poisoned me, and that left a bitter taste.

Yet, as always, my duty to the kingdom overtook all else. In all honesty, had I stuck to that, I would have never gotten so tangled up in the first place. In my mind, therefore, the choice seemed straightforward. But on this occasion, my heart would not be silent, either.

I shuddered, Leliana’s blood-curdling stories coming back to me. That treacherous witch had framed her, left her to rot under unspeakable torture without hope, and all because Leliana had tried to protect her mentor. Even now Leliana hesitated to go into detail, although on the surface no-one would ever realise what she had been through. It was just astounding how anyone could endure such horror and retain their own nature. I certainly could never hope to hold such strength. After all, I had practically fallen apart after the destruction of my home, and I would not have come this far if not for her encouragement.

But even Leliana could not hide the cracks forever. All this time she’d been acting more distant, and I was beginning to understand why. Marjolaine preoccupied her every thought, and she wanted nothing more to than to close that chapter of her life forever.

_And I’d just denied her that opportunity…_

Footsteps approached from behind, and I glanced back.

“Well, t’is fortunate you have grown a spine since we were here last,” Morrigan said, perching against the bench. “I did not expect such brusqueness, especially not towards the Arl. T’is commendable you’ve learnt the diplomatic approach is not always favourable.”

I gave a wry smile. Of course Morrigan would have found that exchange amusing.

“Maybe I’ve grown tired of being forced into corners others build for me,” I answered.

“Is that what you think?” Morrigan chuckled. “I have to disagree, Warden. I think your newfound outspokenness has another source, one altogether more endearing.”

“Do tell,” I murmured. I was sure her far-fetched theory would cheer me up.

“I do believe you’ve become rather love-struck.”

I almost choked on my next breath.

“ _Excuse me_?” That was the last thing I ever expected to come from her mouth. “Look, just because Alistair and I…”

“Did I mention that imbecile’s name?” Morrigan broke in. “T’is plain to see you hold no interest in him, not in that regard.”

“Then why bring up such a stupid…”

“Oh please, why are you always so evasive? Morrigan crossed her arms. “Ever since _she_ saved you from that fiendish poison, you’ve changed. That extra spring in your step when she is close, how your smile grows when she sings, and now this outburst against the Arl.”

I stood up, scowling.

“Just what in the Maker’s name are you getting at?”

“Come now, Elissa,” Morrigan chided, “even you are not that ignorant. Do you not notice the glances she steals, the way she acts around you?” She rubbed her chin. “T’would take a grand force indeed to have such a skilled bard reduced to a shy maiden.”

My face reddened. This conversation wasn’t happening.

“Look, we both went through a lot to get the Ashes,” I said, “and she’s hardly been modest with her words lately. You’re seeing something that isn’t there.”

A wicked grin graced Morrigan’s lips.

“T’would seem our Warden protests too much,” she said. “If I had known t’was so easy to get you flustered…”

“I’m not flustered!” I snapped. “I’m…I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Morrigan laughed.

“Make all the excuses you like, if it pleases you,” she shrugged, “but t’is clear where the root of your frustrations lie.” Her amber eyes gleamed. “T’will not do you any favours to remain distracted like this, Elissa. The sooner you embrace the truth, the sooner you can make peace with yourself.”

She turned and walked off before I could answer. I was left standing in the open, my face burning, and a hundred curses flew to my lips. How did she always know exactly what to say to wind me up?

Shaking my head, I retreated to the estate. No, I was giving the apostate too much credit. Morrigan was bored, simply looking to stir up trouble. Besides, it was no secret Leliana was dear to me. Throughout our travels, we had grown very close. There was no end to the debt I owed her, and she was always willing to lend a friendly ear. At least, when she hadn’t reason to be upset with me. I never really had many friends, being cloistered in Highever Castle, but Leliana was a complete breath of fresh air. It was thanks to her I could truly act like myself again; something that had almost burned away with my home and family. I could trust her, whatever shadows lurked in her past, and she had never let me down.

Truly, she didn’t deserve this…

“My lady?”

I stopped in the hall, the address strange to my ears. A maidservant stood by the front steps. She clasped her hands and bowed.

“The Arl wishes to speak with you as a matter of urgency,” she said.

Swallowing, I fingered my Warden pendant. He must’ve taken affront to my sudden departure. Well, I would have to face this sooner or later.

“Of course,” I said.

The maidservant nodded, and I followed her back to the Arl’s study. However, this time he was not alone. Another servant accompanied him, though I had not seen her before.

“Ah, there you are, Warden.” Arl Eamon was fidgeting, seemingly more anxious than angry. “I’m sorry to disturb you so soon, but another problem had arisen. And this cannot wait.”

“Oh?” I raised a brow. “What’s happened?”

“It might be easier if Erlina explains,” the Arl said, gesturing to the elven woman.

“Yes,” the woman said, a faint Orlesian accent poking through. “I am Erlina, Lady Anora’s handmaiden. But she has been made a prisoner, and I will need your help to free her.”

  



	3. Chapter Three

“What?” I turned to the Arl. “Who’s imprisoned her?”

The Arl let out a breath. “This might come as a bit of a shock, but it seems Howe has taken over as Arl of Denerim. He is holding Anora on his estate.”

My mouth went dry. On instinct my hand flew to the chain around my neck, my dormant rage stirred to life. By the Maker, this couldn’t be true. How had that _bastard_ usurped power here as well? Had slaughtering his former friend and his family not been enough? And how in the Andraste’s name had he abducted the Queen?

If I _ever_ laid eyes on him again…

“The situation is more dire than you could believe,” Erlina spoke, breaking my thoughts. I blinked. She was certainly outspoken for a servant. It didn’t slip Arl Eamon’s notice, either, and he frowned.

“Perhaps it would be best if she outlines the details,” he said. I didn’t miss the edge to his voice.

Erlina bowed, seemingly ignorant of her blunder.

“The Queen is in a difficult position,” she said. “She loved her husband, and trusted her father to protect him on the battlefield. So when he returned without the King and only dark rumours, she was horrified, and tried to find her own answers.” She sighed. “But Loghain refuses to speak about what happened. So, to sate her curiosity, she went to visit the new Arl of Denerim, hoping he would shed some light on the truth.”

“And Howe must have felt threatened by her questions, so he locked her up,” I said darkly. I could barely get the words out. That sick, twisted wretch of a man—willing to throw his weight around, even against the daughter of his would-be protector. No; that gave him too much credit. He was an utter _monster_.

“Yes,” Erlina said. “I even overheard Howe admit she would be better dead than alive. He feels her new-found knowledge would undermine Loghain’s hold on the nobles. I would not put it past him to make an attempt on her life and blame Arl Eamon for it.”

A shiver ran down my spine. That was a disturbing thought. However, while Howe might have been a blood-hungry maniac, he was still lapdog to a higher power. And despite Loghain’s troubled mind set, I doubted even _he_ would let him go that far.

“That seems too much, even for Loghain,” I said. “I don’t think he’d consider sacrificing his own daughter.”

“Ideally one would hope not,” Arl Eamon answered, “but we have seen how easily he abandoned the King. If he _did_ consider murder, and succeeded in pinning the blame on me…” He shook his head. “It would end any hope of winning the Landsmeet. It is a chance we cannot take.”

I raked my hands through my hair, resisting the temptation to tear it all out. As if I didn’t have enough to deal with already, and now the one thing I’d wanted to leave for later was leering its ugly head at me. The others were not going to be pleased with this; a certain red-haired Orlesian in particular.

“So we’ll have to help her, it seems,” I conceded.

“I am glad you are on our side,” Erlina said. “I do not expect everything to fall on your shoulders, though. I can get you inside the estate.”

“You can?”

“I have some spare guard uniforms,” Erlina replied. “Arl Howe hires so many new troops, it should be easy for you to blend in. I can let you in via the servant’s entrance. But we will need to move quickly, else we will be discovered and lose our chance.” She bowed. “Meet me by the Arl’s estate by dusk, and please do not be late.”

She left the study, not waiting to be given leave. The Arl’s eyes narrowed once more, and I swallowed. I wasn’t particularly bothered if servants didn’t follow protocol—had all but forgotten that part of my life, really—but it seemed the Arl was a stickler for tradition. Perhaps Erlina was so overcome with worry she had forgotten her basic etiquettes.

Or perhaps she was too caught up in laying the plans for a trap.

“It seems too convenient, doesn’t it?” Arl Eamon spoke up. “But I cannot see how such a set up could benefit Loghain. He only has the people’s support because they love their Queen. Should they find out she may come to harm, they would riot.”

“And that’s the last thing he wants right now,” I answered. “Either way, we need to cover ourselves, as you said. We have enough against us as it stands.” I licked my lips, my decision forced. “Let me gather my companions and set out our plans. By your leave.”

Bowing, I turned to walk out. However, as I stepped over the threshold, the Arl called out.

“Elissa, wait a moment.”

I paused. The Arl had never called me by my name before.

“I understand how this must make you feel,” Arl Eamon said. “Know that I fully support you. Bryce was my friend, too, and once this is over, I will do all in my power to see the Cousland name restored. But I beg of you, as much as you must itch for vengeance, please keep your patience. Howe will get what he deserves, but if you act too rashly, we will all suffer.”

I gave a curt nod, then left the study.

* * *

 

“Well, this isn’t how I envisaged things turning out,” Alistair said, scratching his chin. We were gathered in the library, mulling over our next step. Leliana sat in the corner, her arms folded. I tried my best to ignore her, yet somehow my eyes kept drifting back. “So now we have to break Anora out of Howe’s estate _and_ clean up the alienage? All in a day’s work, I guess.”

“T’will take more than a day to sort this out,” Morrigan scoffed, “and we have but less than that before the darkspawn arrive.”

“So why not play to our strengths?” Zevran said. “Some espionage and a rescue mission are hardly taxing for our skill set. We should divide and conquer.”

“Precisely what I was planning,” I said. “Then the Landsmeet can go ahead on time.”

“A wise strategy,” Wynne said. “A smaller group will also draw less attention. Have you decided how we should split up?”

“Yes.” I nodded to her, Zevran, Oghren and Sten. “You four can head to the alienage and find out what’s going on. People will be less suspicious since you have no clear ties to the Wardens. Everyone else will come with me to rescue Anora. Unless there are any objections?”

Leliana dumped her chin in her hand, but made no effort to speak. I pretended not to notice.

“Very well, then let’s prepare,” I said. “Meet me by the gates when you’re ready.”

The group dispersed. Leliana remained seated, her expression sour. She waited until the others had departed, before she gave a dark huff.

“So, this is what it takes to shift your mind.” Her voice was curt. “I shouldn’t be surprised, since it works out so well for you.”

I clenched my fist. Now she was just being childish.

“Do you honestly think I wish for more delays?” I asked.

“Then why are you suddenly able to split us up?” Leliana looked up, her grey-blue eyes narrowed. “Couldn’t you have done this for me?”

A dull ache set off in my chest, and I bit my lip.

“It’s not that easy,” I said. “I want to pay back Marjolaine as much as you do, but I can’t evade my duty. If something went wrong with the rescue, and I wasn’t there…”

“Stop lying,” Leliana hissed. “You’ve wanted to get back at Howe ever since he sacked your home, and now your chance has come. Suddenly all else can wait, so long as you…”

My eyes flared. I’d had just about enough of this.

“Why can’t you understand my position?!” I thumped my fist into a bookshelf, and the tomes quivered dust. “The whole city is out for me in one way or another, and if I make one false step, everything we’ve achieved til now will be for nothing!”

Leliana drew her arm across her chest, suddenly subdued. I took a deep a breath, trying to regain composure. I didn’t need to make this worse.

“You’re absolutely right, I _do_ want to charge right in and rip Howe limb from limb,” I went on, in a more controlled tone. “But I’m not changing our plan for my sake. In fact, it’s the last thing I want, because now I’ll have to constantly check myself so I don’t jeopardize the expectations riding on me.” My hands trembled. “And that’s not all. How can I hope to face Marjolaine when my mind is being pulled in all directions?” I shook my head. “I wasn’t focusing the first time, and it almost got me killed. Now a single distraction could cost _you_ , and if that happens, I won’t ever forgive myself.”

At once Leliana’s gaze softened.

“Elissa…I...I’m sorry, I didn’t...”

“Please.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “Don’t hold your anger against me, Leliana. I haven’t forgotten what I promised. But now is not the time to strike Marjolaine. Not when a mistake could prove fatal.”

Leliana rose to her feet. She stepped forward, abashed.

“Forgive me,” she said. “I should not have said such things. I was letting my anger speak for me.” She gave a wry smile. “Besides, I should be helping you shoulder this burden, not forcing you to endure more.” She took my hand. “You are always true to your promises, Elissa. I should not have lost sight of that. So I will be true to mine as well, as I vowed that day in Lothering. I came with you to stop the Blight, and that has not changed.”

“Thank you,” I said, relief swelling through me. The mission ahead would have been far more dangerous had we not cleared the air between us. But more than that; there was always a dark pit that opened up whenever I sensed Leliana was unhappy. I was glad to find it closing up.

“Then let’s be off,” Leliana said. “We wouldn’t want to keep Her Highness waiting.”  



	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: This deviates significantly from the game.

The sky was dark by the time we left Arl Eamon’s estate. It has also clouded over, and the saturated atmosphere promised rain. It seemed Denerim suffered storms almost as frequently as Highever. The scent provoked an almost-forgotten longing, but I forced it away. I had become much better at it now, and given what we were about to face, I needed to keep myself on an even keel. There was no place for my feelings right now.

We travelled together as a single group, the only difference that Morrigan, Alistair, Leliana and myself were dressed in the stolen uniforms, which Erlina had brought earlier. For the most part they fit, although I had to constantly readjust my helmet as it kept slipping forwards.

As we stepped free of the market, the alienage entrance came in sight. It was still sealed off, and guarded by a lone soldier.

“I will handle this,” Wynne said. She stepped forward, and spoke briefly with the guard. Reluctantly he raised the portcullis. Wynne turned back to me, her jaw set.

“Good luck,” I said.

“Maker protect you, Elissa.” Wynne squeezed my shoulder, then departed into the slum. Sten, Oghren and Zevran followed, and the gate closed behind them once more. I sighed, offering a brief prayer for their success.

“Time for us to make a move,” I said. “Erlina should be waiting at the estate.”

We made our way through the narrow streets, heading for the bridge that would take us south of the river. The Arl of Denerim’s residence stood at the base of Fort Drakon, beside the royal palace. I had passed it a few times, though never set foot inside. I could only imagine how Howe had butchered it to his own liking.

The dull roar of thunder echoed above, and something wet splattered my nose. More drops followed, and I stiffened, reminded keenly of my last visit. Before I could get lost in reflection, Leliana poked my shoulder. She didn’t say anything, just flashed a reassuring smile. Comforted, I took a breath, pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind. How easily I was falling to such distractions…

I had to keep it together.

The alleys were littered with shadowed figures, but no-one approached us. Eventually the front of the Arl’s estate appeared, and the ramparts were filled with guards. Alistair spotted them too, and he pressed closer to my side.

“I don’t know, will this be enough?” He wriggled his fingers in the unfamiliar gauntlets. “Every soldier that survived Ostagar will recognise us from a mile off.”

“We just need to guard our faces,” I said. “Erlina seemed convinced this would work. We don’t really have any other choice.”

“Indeed,” Morrigan said, casting a disdainful look at her uniform. “The sooner I can be rid of this ridiculous get-up, the better.”

I had to stifle a chuckle. I had wondered why she’d been so quiet since we’d left.

As the rampart guards resumed their patrol, we headed to the main gates. Angry shouts carried across the air, and I paused. A crowd of civilians had formed ahead, and they didn’t look happy.

“The Arl is busy, he cannot see to your demands today!” The usher was trying to disperse the onlookers, but he was met with more cries.

“That is not good enough!” roared one man. “The Carpenter’s Crafthall has had enough of Howe’s conveniently busy schedule! We will not be put off again!”

My gaze lingered, when movement caught my eye. Erlina emerged from the outer quarters, and came towards us.

“You made it,” she said, not hiding the relief from her voice. “Quickly, come this way while the usher is distracted.”

I nodded, turning away from the mob.

“The people don’t seem appreciative of their new Arl,” Leliana commented.

“Arl Howe has not been efficient in paying his workers properly,” Erlina said. I snorted; it didn’t surprise me in the least. I could bet Amaranthine was in no better state. But it was still so hard to wrap my head around. Father had told me many tales of their adventures, and had always spoken so highly of Howe. How in the Maker’s name could this be the same man?

Erlina led us through the grounds, sticking to the walls so we wouldn’t alert the guards. Their numbers set my nerves on edge, and I kept my fists clenched. Why did Howe need so many? And what had happened to his own men, the ones he’d ordered to murder my family?

He had to be hiding something sinister.

At the next corner, Erlina halted us. We had come to the vegetable garden, and just ahead stood two guards protecting the servant’s entrance.

“Wait here,” Erlina instructed. “I will lead the guards away, and you can enter.”

I frowned.

“What’s the point of the uniforms if you’re just going to distract them?” I asked.

Erlina rolled her eyes. “These guards know exactly who is allowed in and out. They will see through your disguise. But the ones inside are not as informed.”

“Sure.”

“I won’t be able to fool them for long,” Erlina said. “I will join you as soon as I am able. Wait in a safe place, and don’t draw attention to yourselves.”

Nodding, we waited by the edge of the wall. Erlina strode to the guards, but she was too far for me to hear the conversation. A painful minute passed, then another, when finally they left their post and followed her. Erlina took them towards the well, which was obscured by the garden walls. The moment they were out of sight, we hurried to the doors and stepped through.

Inside, burning charcoal filled my lungs, and I coughed. The kitchens were not well ventilated. Grimacing, I stepped through a corridor and into a wider storeroom. A few servants were in the next room, preparing dinner, but they didn’t pay heed to our presence.

“Well, so far so good,” Alistair said, leaning against the wall. “Anora shouldn’t be much further inside.”

“How would you know?” I asked.

“Oh, I used to come here with Arl Eamon in the wintertime,” Alistair answered. “Not that _I_ ever got to use the guest rooms. I slept with the hounds.”

“That explains a lot,” Morrigan chimed. Alistair sneered.

“At any rate, we will need Erlina to show us the way,” Leliana said. “If we wander around looking lost, the guards will become suspicious.”

“T’is certainly not a very robust strategy” Morrigan said. “I am still surprised you were willing to go along with this in the first place, Warden.”

“I’ve considered we could be walking into a trap, but we have to risk that,” I answered. “If anything happens to the Queen, we’ll be blamed for it.”

“And amidst all this meaningles squabbling, the darkspawn will have a feast,” Morrigan said dryly.

“Look, I don’t care for these stupid politics either,” I said, “but we have to play these games to get them to listen.”

“I can certainly concede to that,” Morrigan said, “although it does not make it any less idiotic.” She folded her arms, tapping her foot. “Where has that handmaiden got to? It shouldn’t take nearly so long as…”

The door opened, cutting her off, and Erlina entered. Her hair was a little tousled, but she was otherwise unhurt.

“My apologies, it took forever to get rid of them,” she said. “The Queen is in a guest room on the ground floor, off the main hall.” She gestured to the kitchens. “We can cut through here. The servants will not care for you, but avoid interacting with the other guards.”

“Of course,” I said, adding a mumbled ‘Your Highness’ afterwards. Honestly, she was treating us like ill-behaved children. Erlina didn’t catch it, but it made Leliana chuckle.

After a short walk through the kitchens, we came to the main hall. Several doors lined the walls, and a few guards walked between them. As we passed the first entrance, an electric tinge filled the air, and the hairs on my arms prickled. Morrigan blinked, resting a hand on her staff.

“An unusual place to find such concentrated magic,” she said. “You never said the Arl had mages at his disposal.”

“He didn’t at Highever,” I said, reaching for my dagger.

“I…don’t understand,” Erlina said. “We must get to my lady.”

We followed her through the hall, then turned into a short passage. Blue light danced off the walls, and my eyes widened. A magic seal lay splayed across the door, blocking our approach. That would explain the paucity of guards in the area.

Erlina stepped as close as she dared, before she called out.

“The Grey Warden is here, my lady.”

I caught a shuffle behind the door.

“Thank the Maker!” Anora’s voice was muffled, but there was no mistaking it was her. “I would greet you properly, but as you might have noticed, I’m rather compromised at the moment.”

“I can see that,” I murmured. “What happened?”

“Well, my kind ‘host’ decided that an honour guard was not enough, and so he’s had a mage seal this door,” Anora said.

I scowled at Erlina. “You never mentioned this little detail.”

“This was not here when I left!” Erlina protested. “There were only guards, I swear. But we have to free my queen!”

“Erlina, calm yourself,” Anora ordered. “This is easily dealt with. Simply dispose of the mage, and the seal will lift. They will more than likely be at Howe’s side.”

“I…see,” I said, my heart sinking. It meant I _would_ have to come face to face with Howe again, and Maker knew if I could hold myself back. “I will seek the mage and break the spell.”

“Thank you, Warden,” Anora said. “I will pray to the Maker for your swift return.”

I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not, but I decided not to answer. I didn’t know Anora that well, outside of a few chance meetings at noble gatherings, and we needed her on our side for the Landsmeet. Maker, why did this have to be so complicated?

“Howe will more than likely be in his rooms,” Erlina explained. “They are at the end of the hall, on the left.”

I nodded, before walking down the corridor. A couple of the guards glanced our way, but otherwise left us alone. Leliana matched my pace, and grasped my wrist.

“Will you be alright?” she asked.

“Let’s just find the mage and be done with this,” I said gruffly. Leliana raised a concerned brow, but said nothing more. Her fingers left my hand, and my palm turned cold. I didn’t want it to be like this, but the less I had to think about Howe, the better. He would get what was coming, one way or another, but I had to hold my patience.

_Andraste, please don’t let me give in._ _Not yet._

At last, at the end of the corridor, we came to a locked door. Leliana pressed her ear to it, before she made quick work of the lock. She pushed the heavy oak open, and stepped through. I entered last, scanning the room, my heart in my throat. It was sparsely furnished, with a few scattered tables, a small desk and large four-poster bed, but it was also very empty.

“Over here,” Alistair called. He was standing at the far end of the room, before a doorway that contained a staircase. “Looks like this leads to the dungeons.”

“An interesting design choice,” Leliana commented.

“It’s not that uncommon in Ferelden,” Alistair said. “Many Arls do like to keep a close eye on their prisoners.”

“But who else would Howe have down there?” I bit my lip. “There’s something else going on here.”

“Look.” Leliana was at the desk, riffling through some papers. “These have the Grey Warden seal on them, and they look new.”

I tensed. What was Howe hiding?

“T’is a certainty that would make for interesting bedtime reading, but should we not be looking for the mage?” Morrigan tapped her staff on the floor. “If we dawdle for much longer the guards will catch on.”

“Agreed,” I said. I didn’t want to prolong this, either. “Keep hold of those papers, and let’s take a look in the dungeons.”

Drawing my sword, I carefully ventured down the stairs. There were bound to be more guards here, and our uniforms wouldn’t serve their purpose for much longer. As I came towards the bottom, a bored sigh caught my ear. I looked up, and the cell guard started.

“Hey, who are—ugh!”

He never got to finish his sentence, as a pair of arms reached through the bars behind him and crushed him against the metal. His head lolled forward, and another hand fumbled for his belt, retrieving a key. The arms disappeared, and the guard crumpled to the floor. The cell was unlocked, and the guard’s body dragged inside. I raised my sword, wary, when another man stepped out. He was now dressed in the guard’s uniform, and he offered a grateful smile.

“Thank you for the distraction, stranger,” he said. “I’ve been waiting days for such an opportunity. You have my…” He cut himself short, his eyes falling to Alistair. “Alistair, is that you?”

Alistair blinked.

“Do I know…” Realised dawned, and he snapped his fingers. “Wait, yes, I do remember you! You were at my Joining.” He turned to me. “He’s a Grey Warden, from…Jader?” His cheeks flushed. “Sorry, I don’t recall your name.”

“It’s fine,” the man said. “I am Riordan, senior Warden of Jader, but born and bred in Highever.” A bought of coughing cut him off, and he raised a hand to his mouth. He must have been shut up here for days.

“How did you end up here?” I asked.

Riordan sighed, rubbing his chest.

“With an offer of hospitality and a poisoned chalice.” His voice was slightly hoarse. “I was a fool to think Loghain wouldn’t know I was a Warden. I came with the Orlesian Wardens. We had been in contact with Ferelden, when one day all communication ceased. We grew worried and hence came to investigate, but we were turned away at the border. That was when we knew something was very wrong.”

“Got that right,” Alistair scoffed. “We could’ve done with the extra support. How can Loghain still be so blasé about the Blight?”

“Indeed,” Riordan said, fighting back another cough. “That was why I volunteered to sneak across. Being Ferelden born, I had a better chance of blending in, but Loghain proved more cunning than I anticipated.” He coughed again, and had to hold the wall to steady himself. “Sorry, I have not been well since they locked me here.”

“Understandable,” I said. “You need to see a healer. You can tell us the rest once you’ve been tended to.” I turned to Alistair. “Can you take him back to Arl Eamon’s? We’ll keep searching for the mage.”

“Are you sure?” Alistair asked.

“With the guards patrolling, Riordan won’t stand much of a chance,” I said. “We’ll be as quick as we can. You’ll keep him safe, I know.”

“If you are searching for Howe, I saw him enter the dungeons not long ago,” Riordan said, pointing to another stairwell that descended further inside. “He may still be there.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Take care, both of you.”

Alistair and Riordan departed, retreating back to the rooms. I stared at the steps leading further inside, licking my lips. For so long I had thought of this day, when I would finally have the chance to avenge my family and my name. But I couldn’t let that longing take over; not yet.

I had to hold on.

“Ready?” Leliana asked.

I let out a breath.

“Let’s go.”

  



	5. Chapter Five

The dungeon air was dry and stale, and I brushed aside cobwebs as we walked through the dingy corridors. Torches lined the walls, so light wasn’t a problem, but it did mean we had less cover. It also reeked of mould and filth, but my stomach was churning for other reasons. My palms were sweaty, and I had to take deep breaths to keep on top of my racing heart. That damned cretin’s face would not stop haunting me, and it was a wonder I could stay afloat.

“Can you sense the mage, Morrigan?” Leliana asked, although her eyes kept drifting back to me.

“I sense him, all right.” Morrigan pointed towards the passage ahead. Alas, a barred gate blocked our way. “But we will need to find an alternative route.”

I sighed, clutching my sword tighter. It seemed we would have to explore further. Which meant more chance of coming across _him_.

“We’ll search this way,” I said, looking to the adjacent passage. A slight tremor gripped me, and I tried to focus on the rafters, the bricks; anything to keep me occupied. _You’re not here for him_ , I reminded myself. _Just get the mage and get out._

Leliana drew her bow and fell into step beside me. Her shoulder brushed mine, and I swallowed.

“Take it easy,” she said, sensing my discomfort. “I will try to get the mage from a distance. It will be less to worry about that way.”

I merely nodded, my throat too dry to speak. After everything I had said to her, and still she thought about me first. How she considered me worthy of such kindness was beyond me. Once we were through with this, I’d do everything to get us straight to Marjolaine, the Landsmeet be damned. It was the least I owed her.

A flash of armour caught my eye, and I stilled. A guard had emerged from another chamber. At once he cried out, reaching for his sword. Eyes narrowed, I raced forward. He barely had time to draw his weapon before my dagger sliced his belly. He gargled, and I kicked him down, striking him in the torso for good measure. He had friends in the chamber behind, however, and a slew of arrows came in answer. I jumped aside, and Morrigan retaliated with a surge of wind, sending the arrows flying.

Yelling, I charged into the room. The first archer fell to my blade, and the other two to Leliana’s bow. Silence befell us once more, and I sheathed my weapons. So far, so straightforward. As the adrenaline faded, that was when the stench hit me, and bile rose in my throat. Looking around, various torture devices filled the corners, stacks of bodies still pinned to them. Maker, this was revolting.

Leliana suddenly became hesitant, her grey-blue eyes uncertain. Swiftly however she tore her gaze away, searching the fallen guards. Soon she jingled a bunch of keys.

“This could be useful,” she said, tossing them over. I caught the chain, studying the designs. The largest one should work for the barred area we had passed earlier.

I bit back a shiver, the prospect of what was coming starting to hit once more. Leliana came close and placed her hand on my shoulder. I tried to focus on her touch, pushing away the dread knotting around my stomach. She didn’t rush me, and I let the moment draw out as long as I dared. I had known this was going to be difficult, but I hadn’t thought I’d be falling to pieces quite so quickly.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Just hang on a little longer,” Leliana replied.

Morrigan chortled, but kept her thoughts to herself.

Swallowing, I gathered my courage and headed back the way we had come. The barred gate came in sight, and I slotted the key into the lock. It was very stiff, and I was afraid the metal would snap, but then it clicked. The gate swung open, hinges screaming, and I started into the passage. I had to keep moving.

As we ventured further, the corridor veered sharply to the left. I halted at the corner, peering ahead. All seemed clear, when Leliana grabbed my arm. She shook her head, pressing her finger to her lips. I raised a brow. I hadn’t heard anything.

Suddenly Leliana pushed me against the bricks. Morrigan doused the torches with magic, pressing herself against the opposite wall. Engulfed in blackness, we waited, when footsteps approached from behind. It was followed by the rattle of armour; another guard.

Holding my breath, I watched as he walked to the door nearby, mere inches from where I stood. He didn’t seem too fussed about the lack of light, nor did he notice the three of us. He knocked loudly, but didn’t wait for an answer and let himself inside.

The moment the door closed, I turned to the others.

“Hide!” I mouthed. Morrigan nodded, and retreated to the barred entryway. Leliana and I bolted the other way, seeking another room. Thankfully the next one along was dark and empty, but the door had rotted apart. We stepped over the mess, scanning the darkness. An overturned table lay in the corner, and another door led into a further room.

We crouched behind the table, and I clenched my teeth. I was not going to flee pre-emptively, not until we had what we came for. Still, my pulse thundered, and sweat trickled down my neck. That had been far too close.

Leliana grasped my hand, and I squeezed hers in kind. Maker, how glad I was to have her by my side. She tucked back a strand of my hair, meaning to speak, but then voices came from the passage. I pulled away slightly, peering around the table. Flickering torchlight appeared, and my heart vaulted into my throat.

“You are absolutely sure that is what you heard?” Rendon Howe asked—he was accompanied by the same guard that had almost stumbled upon us. There was no sign of the mage. My sword-arm twitched.

Maker _, don’t…_

“Yes sir,” the guard said.

Howe sighed, pausing in his steps.

“Well, even if there are Grey Wardens here, they can’t gain any footing,” he growled. “Loghain has ensured that, at least.”

“But there’s more you need to hear, sir,” the guard went on.

“Such as?”

“One of the surviving Wardens is a noble woman,” the guard said, “and rumours say she hails from Highever.”

Howe’s eyes went wide.

“What?!” He grabbed the guard and hoisted him up by his collar. “You’re lying, nobody survived! My men assured me they were _all dead!_ ”

“It’s being whispered amongst the other nobles,” the man said. “Arl Eamon is also here, and he’s openly declared his support for the Wardens. That is how the information came about.”

“Eamon _survived?!_ ” Howe released the soldier, his hands shaking. “It can’t be, it _can’t_ be! Loghain said there would be no loose ends!” He started to pace. “That cowardly little rat, she must’ve snuck out of the castle after all and escaped!” He held his temples. “No, I won’t have it. A Cousland is never going to best me again. Scour the city, find that stupid bitch and drag her out! Show her she’s _nothing_ and send her to join the rest of her pathetic family!”

The last cord snapped, and I sprang.

“ _Bastard, I’ll show you who’s nothing!”_

“Elissa, wait!” Before Leliana could pull me down, I snatched her bow and stole an arrow. Howe’s head was in my sight, and I fired. At such range it would have struck dead on, but the guard cried out, pushing Howe to the ground. The arrow sailed harmlessly above, jamming into the wall.

“Intruders!” yelled Howe. “Raise the alarm, get them!”

“Run!” Leliana screeched, dragging me away. I fought her grip, still consumed with blood lust. How dare he, _how dare he!_

“He’s _mine!_ ” I howled.

“There!”

It was too late; several soldiers and a pair of mages stormed through the door, surrounding Howe. The mages began casting, and I ducked, avoiding a burst of flame. The guards charged, swords raised, and I bolted. I had no hope to face that many.

We raced to the other room, and I flung the loose crates behind, trying to slow them. Leliana broke the door lock, and we returned to the main dungeon passage. I couldn’t see any sign of Morrigan; I could only hope she had already escaped.

“This way!” Leliana ordered. I ran after her to the main estate rooms. Crossbow bolts flitted past my ears, and I pushed myself to take longer strides. One bolt found its mark, and I hissed, my wrist burning, but pain meant nothing as I tore up the steps three at a time. Idiot, idiot, _idiot_! Everyone was in danger now, and all because of me…

As we left Howe’s rooms, Leliana slammed the door. Then she brought out her picks, resetting the lock.

“It won’t hold them for long,” she said, as the bolts clicked. “We have to get out of here, now.”

I couldn’t answer, my anger now replaced with guilt. But it was far, far too late for regret. Instead I ran down the corridor, Leliana at my heels. The other guards called out, but I didn’t slow. They would realise the truth soon enough, and I needed to put as much distance between us as possible. Erlina also yelled out, but I ignored her. There was nothing I could do for Anora now.

At last we broke into the open air, into a total downpour. I threw off my borrowed helmet and greaves; they were only slowing me down. Leliana followed suit, stripping off her chest plate, and then we sprinted into the rain.

“There they are, stop them!” The creaking of bows reached my ears, and I swore. The rampart guards had spotted us. Arrows joined the rain, hailing thick and fast, but the weather worked against them and they showered around us. Mud and water splattered my legs, and I fought to snatch my breath, almost skidding across the ground. If I slowed, I’d be dead.

We rounded the last corner, and the entrance gates came in sight. The earlier crowd had dispersed, and I grabbed Leliana’s arm, urging her to run faster. But my own legs were tiring; I couldn’t keep this up for much longer. We had to find cover, quickly.

Frantically I looked around, the raindrops pelting my eyes. Lightning sparked, revealing the streets for a single moment, and illuminated an alleyway nearby. That would have to do. My fingers dug into Leliana’s wrist, steering her towards it.

We slid through the opening, when it suddenly became much narrower, blocked by fallen rafters. I pushed them aside, helping Leliana squeeze through, then stepped behind her. My shoulders scraped the walls, and I let the rafters fall back. The rain gurgled through the gutters above, and I heaved, my lungs aching.

Leliana’s breath tickled my cheek, her body pressed right against mine. Even as my pulse slowed, my cheeks remained flushed, and not just for the fact we’d been running. Trying to ignore my burning face, I turned and watched the street. So far it remained empty, but it didn’t entice relief. Rather, I wanted to bang my head against the bricks. I’d sent the entire Howe estate into high alert, and getting to Anora again would be impossible. I had lost our only chance, and all because I couldn’t keep my head.

_Why in Andraste’s name had I tried to shoot him?_

Something brushed my wrist, and I flinched. Leliana held my arm, her brow raised.

“You’re hurt.” She unfastened my gauntlet, examining the tear on my skin. It had stopped bleeding, but was starting to smart. She ran her thumb over it, and I bit back a wince. “You should have said something.”

“It’s nothing,” I said. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as the realisation of my failure.

Leliana nodded, but didn’t release my hand. An awkward quiet descended, and I had to look away. How could she even stand to look at me? After all the things I’d said about Marjolaine, about putting duty ahead of everything else, only to lose myself the moment I’d seen Howe. I had known the risk from the start, had tried to steel myself from temptation, and still I’d given in. Just like she’d said I would.

_I_ _am_ _so weak._

“Are you still thinking about Howe?” Leliana asked.

I remained silent, too ashamed to speak. Scream, yell, tear me down all you want; it was exactly what I deserved.

“It was only natural you would react to his words.” Leliana squeezed my fingers. “I hold no blame against you.”

I snapped my head towards her.

“How can you say that?” I pulled my hand free, not wanting to soil her palm any longer. “After I lectured you about Marjolaine, that our duty to Ferelden was to come first, and then I go and…”

“Don’t talk nonsense!” Leliana cut me off, snatching my hand again. “You think you are some kind of unfeeling machine, that you can just tell yourself to ignore all hurts? That man slaughtered everything you held dear, erased your family’s name, and now sits here bathing in wealth that was never rightfully his!” She forced me to look into her eyes. “You did not know you would have to face him like that. And had that guard not pushed Howe aside…”

“Don’t make excuses for me,” I said quietly. “I was a complete and utter fool. Arl Eamon warned me to be patient. I knew what was at stake. But I couldn’t do it. I was too weak, too selfish, just like you said I would be.”

“No.” Leliana leant forward, and our brows touched. Despite the rain, her skin was still warm. “You expect far too much of yourself, Elissa. Your path of hardship hasn’t been long, but it mirrors mine all the same.” She intertwined our fingers, and a tingle ran up my arm. “Nobody could have come this far and reacted any differently. Such betrayal hurts, I know. To have your world crumble around you, to be forced to rediscover meaning in your life all over again.” She wiped the raindrops from my cheek, and I shivered. I didn’t want her to stop. “My heart aches that you have suffered the same journey. I would do anything to take that burden away.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. You deserve better than this.”

“That’s not for you to decide,” Leliana murmured. “Elissa, you mean everything to me, and I can’t bear to see you hurting like this.” Her grey-blue eyes gleamed, and something rumbled in my chest. “Because…”

Before I knew it, the distance between us melted, and ours lips pressed against each other. The touch was barely more than a glance, and I froze. Leliana wormed even closer, her breath mixing with mine, a faint sweetness teasing the edge of my tongue. Her warmth banished the chill of the rain, and for a brief second my eyes closed.

Eventually she withdrew, and breathed into my ear:

“I love you.”

 


	6. Chapter Six

I stood in frozen silence, the rain trickling down my face. Leliana’s warmth lingered on my lips, her scent of cinnamon overpowering, but my mind had gone numb. She’d thrown me completely off guard, and I couldn’t think. She’d just…she’d…Maker above, what...

My eyes snapped shut as I tried to rein in my thoughts. That didn’t really work, and so I was left at their mercy. Each breath was an icy shock to my lungs, and my chest pulsed, caught between a terror and longing I couldn’t pry apart. I didn’t understand. Why had she...I couldn’t believe...she was my friend and...yet that didn’t mean she couldn’t be...more…

But what would that mean for us?

For me?

Leliana watched me, her grey-blue eyes pooling with despair.

“You’re not…” She brought a hand to her lips, flushed with shame. “Maker, I’m so sorry, I…”

I caught my breath. No, come on Elissa, say something!

“Leliana, wait!” Well, that was a good start. “That isn’t, I mean, it’s not…”

I couldn’t progress much further; a shout broke from the street. I looked back, only to duck as a burning arrow struck the crumbled rafters. Rapidly I kicked them down, and they smouldered in the puddles, exposing us. Maker’s breath, I didn’t expect them to catch up so easily.

“We’ll…We’ll continue this later,” I said, finding my tongue again and pushing my confusion back. Leliana’s face fell, setting off pangs in my chest, but she swiftly set her jaw. Pulling back the remaining rafters, she climbed over me and was first out. She drew her bow, scouring the area as I jumped clear of the alley. I glanced back to the estate, not much more than a blur behind the screen of rain. A rally of men remained by the gates, but there were no archers amongst them.

Abruptly Leliana loosed an arrow skywards, and a scream told me she’d hit her target. However, a pair of flamed arrows came in return, and they hissed in the water.

“Keep moving!” I shouted.

Leliana shouldered her bow, and we fled deeper into the city. The streets were sodden, the drains overflowing, and I couldn’t see much farther than a few feet at a time. So many alleys were blocked with rubbish, and there was no telling how many led to dead ends. Also, with night fast approaching, it would become very difficult to navigate at all. Thunder rumbled above, and I cursed, searching for a way back to the river. If we could get to a bridge, we’d stand a better chance.

The next alley was clear, so I headed for it, hoping to cut across to the main street. It would make us harder to hit. Still, while the storm of arrows ceased, they were replaced by heavy steps. Then, as I rounded the corner, a burly soldier burst through, brandishing a broadsword.

He swung his blade, and I flung myself to the ground. Pieces of wood showered around as he struck the wall. Scrambling between his legs, I snatched my dagger free, then plunged it into the back of his thigh. He howled, and Leliana grabbed his chest-plate, throwing him onto his face. Finding the gap in his armour, I finished him off, but more cries echoed from behind. How were they able to keep up?

“We need to split up,” Leliana said, resting her hands on her knees. “If you can draw them out, I can pick them off.”

“No, we can’t take on so many,” I countered, wincing as I stood again. “We need to find a way to slow them down. If we can get them to… _duck!_ ”

A throwing knife sliced through the air, and I shoved Leliana out the way. The knife clipped my shoulder, and I hissed. It wasn’t very deep, but by the Maker did it sting. Leliana helped me upright, before we sprinted back to the open street.

An alleyway opposite promised shelter, but more soldiers poured from the passages, trying to block us. I drew my second blade, lunging at the nearest brute. He deflected my first blow, but that didn’t stop my dagger tearing through his neck. He choked, collapsing in a heap, and Leliana shot down his comrade. Oddly, the others started to back away, letting us race through the gap. I frowned. Why would they…

My eyes widened.

“No, don’t go that way!” I reached for Leliana, my fingers tangling in her quiver.

“We have no choice, look!” Leliana pointed to the street again. I glanced back, and swore. The men had set up a blockade, sealing off the other escape routes. Flashes of flame danced from the rooftops, and lightning ripped through the clouds again, revealing the elusive archer.

“Damn it!”

“Never mind, we’ll just have to fight our way out!” Leliana grasped my hand and we ran into the alleyway. The buildings were in much worse repair, and the guttering didn’t protect us from the rain. If not for the adrenaline pumping through me, I’d have been a shivering wreck.

We emerged at the main quay, and I gasped. We had come further east than I realised. The docked ships creaked and groaned above the frothing water, stirred into madness by the wind. Boxed in by the cargo and restless sea, there was no-where else to run. Sure enough, the soldiers started to filter through the alleys, surrounding us.

“Maker’s breath,” I muttered, raising my blades. “Leliana, I’m sorry.”

“We’ve not lost yet,” Leliana said, nocking an arrow. “I will not go down without a fight. And we still need to finish our conversation.”

That made me wince, and I wiped the raindrops from my forehead. I’d have time to fret about that later.

Taking a breath, I surveyed our opponents. There were twelve in total, armed with polearms and swords. They braced their weapons, waiting for us to make the first move. I licked my lips, glancing around. Stacks of crates filled the quay, and a torch flickered in a storage room to my left. Just above towered a crane, its platform filled with barrels. The crane pulleys, however, looked worn and weak. It wouldn’t take much to make them snap.

An idea came to mind, but then one of the soldiers lost his nerve. Yelling, he ran at Leliana, polearm raised. I jumped in front of her, catching the weapon against my blades. He was stronger, and my boots skidded in the rainwater. My arms slipped, and the edge of his blade scathed my chest-plate. The others stormed forward, pressing their attack, and I yelled out,

“Leliana, the barrels!”

Leliana blinked, but quickly cottoned on. She took aim and released her arrow. The pulley shattered, and the crane platform groaned and collapsed. I kicked my attacker back, and the men yelled, scattering as the barrels hailed down. They smashed apart, drenching them in strong-smelling liquid. My nose wrinkled. Rum?

My eyes lit up, and I bolted to the storage room. Prizing the torch off the wall, I ran back, then flung it at the soldiers. The rum caught at once, and the men shrieked, sent into a panic. Several jumped into the water, only to be swallowed up by the waves. Another tried to attack, but I stepped in and ran my sword through him. He dropped to the ground, and Leliana finished the last one, lining his back with arrows.

Chest heaving, I staggered back to the storage room. I slumped against the first crate, dropping my soiled blade, my skin plastered with sweat and rain. Leliana crashed down beside me, and we leant against each other, catching our breath. The rain continued to hammer down, and I closed my eyes. Every muscle ached, and the cold was starting to seep through. But bless Andraste, I could barely believe we’d made it through.

Leliana rested on my shoulder, her hands loosely wrapped around my arm. I kept perfectly still, the earlier awkwardness creeping back. She remained silent, so I followed suit. If she wasn’t going to bring that topic up, then I wouldn’t, either. However, when she didn’t speak for a few minutes, I looked at her again. Her eyes were shut, and her breaths had evened out. Poor girl—she was more worn out than I was.

The sight made me smile. So many watches we’d spent together, and more often than not she never lasted the whole night. She’d told me it was because she felt so comfortable and trusted me to protect her. It had made me laugh, but also made me privileged. Here was a master bard, whose entire life revolved around deceit and lies, admitting I was the only person she’d let her guard down for.

How had I not realised her feelings sooner?

I rested back, staring at the ceiling. A peal of thunder rang out, but it was much quieter. The storm was moving on. I let out a breath, wishing the torrent in my heart would do the same. The memory of her kiss returned, and my cheeks burned. I could still recall her taste, strong and sweet like mead, and her beautiful scent. So brief, yet so intense, unlike anything I’d ever experienced. But I couldn’t shake the doubts it had stirred. My interest had always lain with men, or so I’d believed. Nevertheless, there was no denying how strongly I felt for Leliana, and it both thrilled and terrified me.

But the real question was, how far would I let things run…

A sudden creak made me jump. Leliana caught a sharp breath, pulling away. I tried not to focus on the warm patch on my arm where she’d been resting. She glanced at me for a moment, and a blush settled on her cheeks.

“You should’ve woken me,” she said, wiping the droplets from her face. “We shouldn’t stay here.”

“R-Right,” I said, my tongue twisting in knots. Maker’s breath, get a hold of yourself, Elissa.

Before I’d lose the rest of my mental faculties, I strode to the entrance. The rain had let up a little, and the broken crane platform swung in the wind. The bodies of the soldiers remained, and I cringed. This would not go unnoticed for much longer, and if I was spotted, there would be no salvaging of the Warden’s reputation. We had to leave discretely.

As I was about to brave the rain again, Leliana caught my wrist.

“Wait, there might be a better way.” She nodded back to the store room. “If Denerim’s port is anything like Val Royeaux’s, there will be smuggler’s routes. It will keep unwanted eyes off us.”

I could only nod, afraid I’d turn into a stuttering mess once more.

We split up, searching the store room. It was tricky in the dark, and I was starting to regret wasting the torch. Fortunately, as I felt my way across the walls, I came across a desk. A flint-striker had been left there, along with an unlit stake. It took some fumbling, but finally the flames took hold, and I held it aloft.

“Aha!” Leliana gave a triumphant smirk. She was standing in the corner, above a panel. Trust her bard skills to find what we needed, even without light. I walked over to where she stood, peering at the wood. It was a darker colour to the rest of the floor.

“Hold this.” I handed the torch over—deftly avoiding her fingers—before I knelt down and stuck the edge of my dagger into the side. Some wrangling and twisting later, the catch broke, and the panel fell inwards. It splashed into water, and I frowned. This was not going to be pleasant.

Leliana slid in first, taking the torch. She briefly surveyed the passage, then waved her arm.

“Yes, this joins the sewers,” she called. “We could ask for no better cover.”

“You won’t be saying that once the smell hits,” I muttered, pushing myself through the opening.

I landed in the knee-deep water, and cold raced up my legs. Biting back my shivers, I looked ahead. The ceiling was low, and the passage led directly north. Leliana, who was slightly shorter than me, managed to saunter comfortably along. Sighing, I craned my neck and followed her through the icy shallows.

We kept to a straight path; almost all of the branches that led to Maker-knew where had been blocked off, anyway. Oddly enough, the smell wasn’t as bad as I feared, though I continued to breathe through my mouth, just in case. Still, the cramped space and sludgy water made for slow progress, and my numb feet didn’t help, either. It was also impossible to tell how much distance we were covering. The blistering chill reached further, and I held my arms around myself. Maker, what I would do to feel warm again. My eyes fell to Leliana, but I quickly broke my gaze, deciding to focus on the torch.

At last we came to a crossroads. The ceiling and walls expanded, and I straightened up, rubbing my sore neck. Nonetheless, our choices were limited, as the north and east sides were barred, and the water level on the west side became considerably deeper.

“Look.” Leliana gestured to a metal ladder, which led to a trapdoor. “I’m sure we are far enough away from the docks. We should return to the surface.”

She handed me the torch, then climbed the rusted rungs. She opened the panel, and scrambled upwards. After checking it was clear, she beckoned me up. I grasped the ladder and hauled myself free of the water.

We were in a cellar somewhere in the slum district, if the décor was anything to go by. Barrels lined the walls, and I caught the distinct scent of wine. Quietly I closed the trapdoor, as Leliana headed for the stairs. She had her knife drawn. I doused the torch, keeping my dagger in hand. We might have escaped Howe’s estate, but there were plenty of other reasons to remain cautious.

The staircase ascended to a dimly lit room. Candles lined the desk on the left, and tattered curtains dangled across the broken windows. Another doorway led further inside, and I blinked. A strange sense of déjà vu had struck, and I rubbed my chin. Why did this place feel so familiar?

Leliana stopped dead. She was staring through into the next room. I followed her gaze, and had to stop myself gasping. The house wasn’t as empty as we’d assumed. A woman was crouched over a desk, scribbling away, oblivious to our presence. Except it wasn’t just any woman.

“Marjolaine.” Leliana’s words were like acid, and she didn’t even try to be quiet.

The woman spun around, and her eyes widened. Slowly, a dark smile spread across her lips, and she opened her arms.

“Ah, and so she finally appears. It’s about time you answered my invitations, my little nightingale.”


	7. Chapter Seven

Marjolaine was just as I remembered. She wore the same simplistic clothes, and carried the same deadly air. The fact she didn’t seem the least bit perturbed by our presence was even more unnerving. She continued to smirk, and I tensed my grip around my dagger. This couldn’t have been coincidence.

“I’m hurt it’s taken you so long to think of me again, my dear,” she said, leaning against her desk. “But it is lovely to see you at last.”

Leliana snarled, her eyes like daggers.

“Spare me the pleasantries,” she spat. “I didn’t come for—”

“My dear, why in such a rush?” Marjolaine interrupted. “You were never so business-like before. You haven’t even asked me how I’ve been.”

“I have not cared,” Leliana hissed. “You were but a distant memory, and you should have stayed that way!”

Marjolaine gasped.

“Oh, how deeply your words cut, my Leliana,” she said, clasping her hands over her chest. “I’d have thought two assassination attempts _and_ a poisoned messenger would have caught your attention, but no. You clearly had more important matters than me.” She brushed her hair back. “It took bribing the Arl’s guards to get you here, and that was very costly.”

“What?” Leliana stiffened, and my eyes widened. “The soldiers chasing us, _you_ sent them?”

“Of course,” Marjolaine scoffed. “With generous words and some coin, it is easy to get what you want. Even in this uncivilized mess of a country.”

I bit my lip. Maker, this woman’s influence knew no bounds. I should have listened to Leliana.

“And I know how your mind works, my Leliana,” Marjolaine went on. “I knew you’d seek a sheltered passage to escape the docks. And so, here you are. Although I wasn’t expecting your Warden friend as well.” She surveyed me, more with curiosity than anger. I didn’t move, wishing I could tear her face off there and then. “She must have run to you very fast indeed.”

“You had no right to involve her.” Leliana kept a level tone, despite the rage that burned in her eyes. “What is it you want, Marjolaine? Wasn’t it enough to have me caught and tortured for a crime I did not commit? Is my death the only thing that will satisfy you now?”

“Your death?” Marjolaine held her cheeks. “Of course not! The assassins were not for that. I know you can easily deal with such threats. But when you didn’t heed my first call, I had to make sure the next ones were more potent.”

Leliana scoffed.

“You never did like being ignored,” she said darkly. “Tell me then, why you are in Ferelden, when I have left you alone?”

“Left me alone?” Marjolaine laughed, tossing her hair back. “Perhaps, but for how long, my little nightingale? You have knowledge that could be used against me. I could not simply let you be, a ticking bomb waiting to go off.” She began to pace the room. “Did you think I did not know where you were? That I would turn a blind eye to my most dangerous threat? Especially when you started behaving so unlike yourself.”

Leliana went rigid.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t play the fool.” Marjolaine waved her hand. “I watched it all. How you settled for the quiet life, the peasant clothes, the sudden religious devotion…you could only be planning something. Yet you sent no letters, met up with no contacts, and barely showed your face. It almost had me convinced. But then you suddenly left the Chantry, and I knew you were ready to finally make your move.”

Leliana stared.

“You think I left because of _you_? That I was still seeking revenge?” Her hands shook. “You are insane, Marjolaine! I left Orlais to be free of you, so I wouldn’t become the same twisted person inside!”

Marjoaline sighed. She turned her gaze to me. “She gives a good performance, no?”

“She learnt from the best,” I shot back.

Marjolaine’s eyes flashed.

“You are a fool to trust her,” she stated. “She will make use of you, then dispose of you. That is her way.”

“No,” Leliana broke in. “That is _your_ way, and I am not you.”

“You truly believe that nonsense?” Marjolaine shook her head. “Why do you think you have become like you have? It is because you enjoy the game, my dear. The manipulation, the secrets, the power it gives you. It is an addiction I know too well, and one you cannot escape!”

Leliana’s gaze faltered slightly, but I stepped forward.

“Your judgement is worthless,” I said. “Leliana is not the same person she was, and she has been free to choose her own path. Nothing you say will make me doubt her.”

Leliana found her courage again, and gently brushed my hand. She turned back to Marjolaine.

“I have had enough of you, Marjolaine.” Her lip curled. “This is your last chance. I want you out of my life, forever. Go back to Orlais and never come back.”

“I am afraid I cannot do that,” Marjolaine said. “You are one loose end that must be cut!”

She bolted to the door behind. Swearing, we sprang after her. We could not let her escape!

Something glistened on the threshold, however, and my foot caught. Then a bow creaked, and an arrow came straight for me. I twisted aside, and it hit my shin-guard. Scowling, I scanned the room. It was a workroom, scattered with benches and old tools, and on my right a wooden staircase led to a small platform. An archer stood there, and he was accompanied by two Qunari mercenaries. Marjolaine was at the other end, about to disappear through another door.

“She’s all yours!” I called to Leliana.

Leliana nodded, before she ran ahead. The archer tried to shoot her, but she was faster and he missed. I looked back to the mercenaries. They descended from the platform, wielding a sword and axe between them. I licked my lips, crossing my blades. I was perhaps pushing my luck, but I was not going to deny Leliana her chance at peace. Not this time.

The first mercenary charged, and I leapt back. His sword splintered the floor, and he swung again. There was plenty of room to manoeuvre, but the archer had other ideas. He started to fire multiple shots, trying to box me into a corner. The other mercenary brandished his axe, circling his comrade and waiting for an opening.

The Qunari swordsman struck, and I rolled aside. Deftly I slammed my dagger into his calf, and he groaned. He remained standing, however, and grabbed the back of my shirt. I yelped, and he threw me into a workbench. The wood shattered, and fierce pain ran through my spine. His companion was on top of me in seconds. His axe shot downwards, and I flung myself forwards. My jaw smacked the floor, sending a jolt through my skull, but it was far better than what became of the bench.

I made to stand, but the archer finally found his mark. An arrow struck my leg, and I cried out. Still I found the strength to move, as the two Qunari lunged again. Their weapons became embedded in the floorboards, and they had to fight to free them. I retreated beneath the platform, pressed against its staircase. Blood trickled down my calf, and I hissed. This wasn’t good.

Roaring, the Qunari axeman charged. I jumped aside, and his axe smashed into the staircase. The platform groaned, lurching to one side. The Qunari hesitated, glancing up at the frail planks. Cracks started to form, and I swore.

I scrambled for the swordsman, aiming my sword at his side. He caught the blow, but I spun round, throwing him beneath the platform. At the same moment, the front half of the structure fell apart. The mercenaries cried out, showered in dust and splinters. I didn’t look back, running for the exit. More arrows came for me, but I dodged, slamming the door shut behind. I slid the bolt home, then sank against the wood, breathless. Such close calls were becoming alarmingly frequent.

Once my breathing settled, I began to limp down the new corridor. Every right step was like walking on spikes, and I winced. I had to do something about the arrow. Gripping the shaft, I snapped it at its base. I knew better than to remove the tip; Wynne would have to see to that later. Maker, I hoped they were having better luck than we were.

The corridor had many branching doors, but the rooms were all black and empty. Eventually the passage turned right, and I caught crashes and clangs from ahead.

_Leliana!_

I forced myself to walk faster, although I couldn’t manage more than a hopping limp. Finally I came to the room, struggling to remain on my feet. Lanterns sat on the tables, illuminating the darkness. Marjolaine was on her knees, her hands twisted behind her back, and Leliana stood above her. Both sported cuts and bruises, though Marjolaine seemed the worse of the two. Leliana had a knife at the woman’s palm, and the metal glistened with a murky substance. I stared.

Black locust venom.

“I gave you the chance to leave me alone,” Leliana seethed. “I was even willing to forget what you’d done to Elissa. But then you dare to use _this_ against me?” Her eyes flared. “I will be glad to see you meet the same end you’ve so enjoyed inflicting on others!”

“Leliana, wait!” I called.

Leliana paused, looking up. That was a mistake. Marjolaine seized the distraction, kicking out. Leliana stumbled, and Marjolaine threw herself at her legs. They both tumbled to the ground, and Marjolaine snatched the poisoned blade. She straddled Leliana’s chest, pinning her arms down, and raised the knife.

“I made you, Leliana,” Marjolaine murmured. “Now I will just as easily destroy you!”

“No!”

My vision narrowed, and suddenly the burning in my calf didn’t matter anymore. My muscles acted on their own, and in moments my fist cracked with Marjolaine’s face. She fell backwards, dropping the knife, and I kicked it away. Marjolaine growled, holding her bloody nose.

“You…” She began to cackle, looking between us. “Oh my Leliana, now I understand!” Her laughter became hysterical. “You left the Chantry for _her_!”

“You’re mad,” I spat, helping Leliana upright. Leliana tensed, and pulled away. I blinked.

“You should not have stopped me!” She made to reclaim the poisoned blade, but I grabbed her arm.

“Don’t stoop to her cruelty!” I shot back.

“She did the same to you!” Leliana’s grey-blue eyes glistened with tears. “I will never forgive her for hurting you!”

“And I won’t forgive you for losing yourself for my sake!” I snapped. “She’s not worth that!”

I would’ve continued, but Leliana gasped. She pressed her hands against my chest, forcing us back into the corridor. Smashing glass reached my ears, followed by searing heat. I glanced back, as flames began to spread across the floor. Marjolaine remained on the other side, still holding the broken lantern.

“You have chosen poorly, my Leliana!” she jeered, the fire licking around her. “I can see she does not consider your love worthy, too frightened to let go of her attentions for men!” Smoke started to billow outwards, and she coughed. “At least I will rest easy, knowing you will suffer her rejection from now on!”

The rest of her words were cut off as the ceiling groaned. Red-hot ash filled the air, and Leliana took my arm, urging me to run. I forced myself to step quickly, biting back the stings that ran down my calf. We’d only taken a few steps when the roof behind screamed, finally giving in to the flames. A surge of smoke followed, and I held my hand across my face. My eyes watered, blurring my vision, and my lungs burned.

Leliana pulled me against her. She staggered into the last room, coughing.

“Break…window…” she wheezed, gesturing to the cracked panes.

Nodding, I dragged myself to the lone bench beneath the window. My head swam, and my mouth and nose were brimming with embers. If we didn’t escape now, we’d suffocate. Together we lifted the bench, sending it hurtling through the glass. The fresh air buffeted my face, clearing the stench, and I helped Leliana climb out. She reached back, pulling me through, as a deafening roar broke from the corridor.

Spluttering on the smoke, I stumbled behind Leliana, getting clear of the blaze. The rain had turned to a drizzle, but its coolness was welcome. Once I could bear the pain in my leg no more, we stopped at another alleyway. I glanced back, the rain refreshing against my skin. By now the entire warehouse was alight, although its sodden surroundings prevented it from spreading further. I let out a breath, watching the remaining rafters and thatching crumble inwards. As much as I loathed Marjolaine, even I wouldn’t have chosen immolation for her fate.

Leliana stared at the smouldering wreckage, silent. I couldn’t read her expression.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

Leliana said nothing for a long while. Eventually her shoulders sagged, and she turned away.

“Let us return to the Arl.” Her voice was devoid of emotion.

“Leliana…”

“Please don’t talk to me.” She began to walk away. “I need some time to myself.”

****

Wynne and Alistair were waiting at the gates to the estate. The moment they spotted us, they ran to our side. I grimaced. Between our wounds and the ash painting our skin, we must have looked stunning.

“You had us worried sick!” Alistair took my arm, helping me walk. I winced, the arrowhead in my leg catching. “Morrigan told us everything. We thought Howe’s men had got you.”

“They almost did,” I said, holding my aching calf. “We were lucky to evade them.”

“You shouldn’t have sent me away,” Alistair said. His face was riddled with guilt. “At least the others had more luck.”

“Oh?”

“I will tell you inside,” Wynne said. “First, let us get these injuries seen to.”

We entered the estate. Wynne took us straight to one of the studies. A large couch spanned the left wall, and Alistair set me down. Leliana sat on another armchair, and Wynne knelt beside her, checking her over. Leliana closed her eyes, letting the glowing magic repair her scrapes and bruises. She hadn’t spoken a word since we had left the burning warehouse, and that pit in my stomach had opened again. We had dealt with Marjolaine once and for all, but it seemed to have opened more wounds than it closed.

And I was acutely aware I was the prime cause.

“Well, it seems you’ve certainly had to earn your freedom,” Wynne said, walking over to my side. Her gaze fell to the arrowhead, and she sighed. “What happened?”

“That is precisely what I would like to know.”

The Arl’s voice echoed through the room. He strode inside, arms folded. Instinctively I lowered my head, like a child caught out of bed too late.

“Where in the Maker’s name have you been, Warden?” The Arl’s eyes narrowed. “Where is Anora?”

It took all of my willpower not to flinch.

“We were unable to free her,” I said, averting my gaze. “Howe had a mage seal her door. We tried to locate them to break the spell, but we were caught. We barely escaped with our lives.”

The Arl sighed, shaking his head.

“This is terribly unfortunate,” he said at last. “We may have lost our only chance to rescue her. Howe may also be emboldened by this failure, and overstep his business.”

“Perhaps,” I said, “but there may still be a way to get to her.”

The Arl raised a brow. “Really?”

“Howe wasn’t expecting me to be the Grey Warden that survived Ostagar,” I said. “He still holds contempt for the Cousland name, and wants me dead. We can use that to our advantage, and draw out his guards. Then it will be easier to break inside and get Anora out.”

“No.” Leliana spoke; the first word she’d uttered since we’d left the burning warehouse. “You can’t use yourself as bait.”

“I agree,” Alistair added, shaking his head. “It’s too risky, and you’ll have Loghain’s men after you as well.”

“I shouldn’t have been caught in the first place!” I barked. “It’s my fault Anora is still a prisoner, and if we don’t free her, the Landsmeet won’t go ahead. I have to set this right before it’s too late.”

“It seems worth a try,” the Arl conceded. “Though we will have to lay our plans very carefully.”

I nodded, about to answer, only to shriek as Wynne chose that moment to remove the arrowhead.

“Might I recommend we debate this later?” she suggested, pressing a poultice to my throbbing calf. My eyes watered. “These two are exhausted, and need to heal before we can take any firm decisions.”

The Arl bit his lip. However, he let out a breath, and bowed.

“Very well. We will discuss this further in the morning.”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My layout of Eamon's estate is not canon, so don't get too confused...

Despite my weariness, I couldn’t sleep. I lay on my bed, the patter of rain outside echoing in my ears. It should have been soothing, but every time I closed my eyes, nightmares would haunt. Seeing Howe had stirred all the grief and anger I’d bottled up since Highever’s fall, and the memories were relentless. Oriana’s body collapsed on top of Oren, the screaming guards, the roaring flames, Father’s wounds, Mother insisting she remain by his side…

I shuddered, rolling aside. The embers in the hearth glowed, and I rested my forearm over my eyes. Such flashbacks weren’t unknown to me, and they had lost much of the power they once held. However, the ruins of home were not the only thing on my mind. I was also left with Marjolaine’s parting words, and they cut just as deep.

_…she does not consider your love worthy, too frightened to let go of her attentions for men!_

I sat up, wrapping my arms around myself. My chest felt so tight, but no amount of deep breathing would make it go away. At least with Highever I’d had time to put up defences. With Marjolaine, I had no such luxury. She’d spoken aloud the doubts in my heart, and made Leliana fully aware of them, too.

But it wasn’t that I thought Leliana’s love was unworthy. It was more I couldn’t decide which of _my_ feelings to trust. I hadn’t wanted to pursue anything like this from the beginning—it was simply safer to keep my heart closed, to let it heal and not have to deal with the struggles a relationship would bring. I had just not been in the right place, and never thought I ever would be.

Yet now the pieces had moved, and I wasn’t so certain anymore. Part of me goaded, begging me to take a chance and see where things would lead, but my other half remained paralysed with fear. Leliana was my closest companion, a pillar of strength, the one person keeping me going in my darkest hours. Could I risk upsetting all that and losing her forever?

It would destroy me, and I didn’t know if I could go through that again.

_But I’m not the only one suffering, either._

Rubbing my temples, I slid to the edge of the bed. Sleep was definitely beyond me, so perhaps a walk would calm me down. I slipped on my boots, grabbed a spare jerkin, then strode out of my room.

The corridors were peaceful, my footfalls the only noise. I didn’t really have a destination in mind, so I let my feet wander. I passed the reading room and various studies, but I kept clear of the guest rooms. That did shorten my route somewhat, so I turned and headed up the main staircase. The library had a beautiful alcove that overlooked the city. It would be as good a place as any to get a hold of my thoughts.

The library door was shut. Thankfully it remained unlocked, and I gently pushed it open. The candles were unlit, but enough light filtered through the window to see by.

Which was how I quickly realised I wasn’t alone.

Leliana was sitting in the alcove. She had a knee drawn to her chest, her stare fixed outside, but I could tell she wasn’t really looking. I swallowed, the pit in my stomach deepening. So many things still needed to be said, especially given what was coming, but I was completely lost for words. My feelings continued to duel with each other, leaving me caught in the middle, and I didn’t want to make things worse.

I made to retreat, but my foot caught on the rug. Leliana started, and her eyes fell upon me. The ache in my chest redoubled, and I looked away. How had I been reduced to this?

A long silence passed, until I found my voice again.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” I rubbed the back of my neck.

Leliana’s gaze softened. She shook her head, but didn’t say anything. She returned to staring out the window. I sighed. I’d never seen her so quiet, and I didn’t like it. That was supposed to be my forte, after all.

I sat beside her, watching from the corner of my eye. She’d wrapped her arms around her knee, pretending to ignore me, but she did try to steal subtle glances. I smiled to myself. I’d acted much the same after we first met, unwilling to open myself to yet another stranger. However, her persistence had won through in the end, and I was extremely glad it had. She’d reawakened my old spirit, and given me the strength to face my demons. The least I could do was return the favour.

“Sorry.” Leliana’s voice was heavy. She raised her head, and my smile vanished. She’d been crying. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

Frowning, I slid closer.

“Why?”

Leliana let out a breath.

“I…I thought I was stronger than this,” she murmured. “I’d been thinking for so long about confronting Marjolaine, but it never really hit me until I laid eyes on her again.” She shivered. “I didn’t think it would hurt this much.”

“Leliana…”

“I was prepared to let her suffer,” she whispered. “No, I _wanted_ to make her suffer. Just like all those I’ve manipulated and killed in the past. The rush of it, of having power over another; it felt so _good_.” Her tears resurfaced. “I wanted to believe I’d put that part of myself behind. But I haven’t changed at all. I’m still just like her!”

She buried her face in her hands, sobbing. Despite myself, I put my arm around her shoulders. The last of Leliana’s resolve melted, and she threw herself into my chest. Moisture soaked my collar, and I tentatively returned her embrace. Forget my feelings for now; she needed me.

“That’s not true,” I said softly. “You wouldn’t have let me stop you otherwise.”

“If you hadn’t been there…” Leliana drew a sharp breath. “How could I have been so naïve? That a little time in the Chantry would wash away my sins?” She quivered. “I’ve just been denying my true nature all along.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple,” I said, rubbing her shoulder. “I can’t imagine how hard it was to face Marjolaine after what she did to you. But look how far you’ve come.” An echo of a half-forgotten dream came to mind. “The past might’ve shaped you, Leliana, but it doesn’t define you. Only you can decide how you want to move forward.”

Leliana simply nodded.

“I’m sorry.” She withdrew, wiping her eyes. “You have so many other things on your plate. You shouldn’t have to share my burdens as well. I’ve…made so many mistakes…”

“And I haven’t?” I prodded her knee.

“Not like that.” Leliana turned away, drawing her arms around herself. “I…I shouldn’t have kissed you. I…just thought…you might…”

“Now hold on,” I said. “It’s not that I didn’t…well…you know…” I trailed off, my cheeks flushing. I still wasn’t prepared to talk about this. “It just…caught me off guard. I’ve never…not with another woman, anyway…and it wasn’t _bad_ or anything…” Maker’s breath, Duke’s barking would’ve been more articulate. “I mean, what I’m trying to say is…”

“What?”

I gave a deep sigh.

“I don’t know.” I stared at my hands. “I don’t know how I feel.” I paused, feeling stupid. What kind of an answer was that? “I know it sounds ridiculous, but I…” I closed my eyes. “I need some time, to figure things out. I have to be honest with myself, and you. I don’t want to make things worse. That’s…all I can say for now.”

Leliana remained silent. I felt like running my dagger through my chest. How could I be this cruel, after what she’d just been through? But I couldn’t decide, and that was the truth, no matter how much it was wounding her. I could only hope she’d forgive me later.

“Alright.” Leliana stood up. “I think I can give you that. But…don’t keep me waiting too long.”

She gently brushed my hand, then left the library. I watched her go, curling my head into my knees.

Suddenly our plans for the morning didn’t seem so daunting.

* * *

“So, this is what I propose,” I said. Dawn had broken, and my companions were gathered in the Arl’s main study. I was still bleary-eyed, but thinking about the day ahead helped combat my fatigue. “I’ll show myself at the gates, and draw out as many men as I can. Morrigan and Leliana can pick them off at range, while the rest of you infiltrate the estate, kill the mage and free Anora. We can regroup here.”

“I still don’t know if this is the best idea,” Alistair admitted. He shuffled on his feet. “You saw how many guards were around last time.”

“I am not particularly keen, either,” Zevran said, “but it is preferable to attacking such a force head on. And I don’t plan to outlast my welcome. Once the Queen is free, we’ll be as good as gone.”

“Nonsense, we could take ‘em all on if we had to!” Oghren rumbled. “If we didn’t have your Queenie draggin’ us down, perhaps.”

“I tire of this pointlessness,” Sten growled. “Follow through with a decision or make none at all.”

“Agreed,” Morrigan added. “If this is what our Warden wishes, then so be it. T’is not my place to cast doubt when the consequences are upon her own head.”

“What Morrigan means to say is that we will do our best to cover you,” Leliana cut in. Her mask was up again, revealing no trace of what had transpired overnight. Perhaps it was for the best.

“Right, so no more arguing,” I said. “We’ll leave as soon as everyone is ready.”

The group nodded, and I left the study. I headed back to my room, retrieving my blades. As I clipped the scabbards to my back, I caught a glimpse of my necklace. Beside the Warden’s pendant was my family ring; the only keepsake I had left of Highever. I never acknowledged it much—too many painful memories—hence why I didn’t wear it properly. This time, however, I slipped it free and slid it onto my finger. At least in this, my mind had been made up. Should I meet Howe once more, I wasn’t going to flee. He’d shown his true fear of my family’s name, and I was going to live up to it. He was not going to leave the estate alive.

“Elissa?”

I looked back at the doorway. Leliana was standing there. For a moment she hesitated, but then she stepped inside.

“I just wanted to say…be careful,” she said. “And whatever happens, I’ll be right behind you.”

“I know. Thank you,” I answered. “It will be over soon. I promise.”

Leliana managed a smile, before she walked away. I sighed, following her to the main hall. I would’ve preferred the awkwardness to have cleared entirely, but she seemed in higher spirits, and that was a good thing. Once this was done, I promised myself to have my answer ready.

It didn’t take long for the others to join us. Duke whined, wanting to come along as well, but I shook my head. As pitiful as it sounded, I didn’t want the entire Cousland legacy to disappear, should the worst happen.

My jaw set, we left the estate. We crossed the market, then went our separate ways. Leliana and Morrigan took to the rooftops, while the others slipped into the alleyways. I remained alone, feeling terribly exposed. With one last look back to Eamon’s home, I squared my shoulders and strode forwards. Several passers-by stared, pointing and whispering to each other. I ignored them, focusing on the main bridge. I wouldn’t stir trouble unless I had to.

I entered the southern district. The blockades from the previous night were still up, so I had to navigate the alleys. I disliked the confinement, but it was too early to make my presence known. I needed to get closer to the estate.

As I turned into another side-alley, I caught a pair of guards leaning against a building. Soon they left their perch, heading right for me.

“You’re a brave one to be walking alone, girl,” one jeered, standing tall to look more intimidating. “Your kind’s not welcome here.”

“But we’re not unreasonable,” stated the other. “Turn back and get out of Denerim, and maybe we won’t follow.”

“I must say I’m a little disappointed,” I said, unable to stop smirking. “Are stories of the legendary Wardens all it takes to make you quiver in your boots?”

“We’ll show you who’s scared!” the guard snarled.

They reached for their swords, but they were too slow. My blades made short work of them, and they dropped to my feet, groaning. Kicking their weapons aside, I made my way back to the main street. A glance upwards showed my two protectors hovering, and I nodded. There would be plenty of action for them soon enough.

Eventually the Arl of Denerim’s estate appeared, and I steeled myself. My sword and dagger in hand, I cautiously approached. The civilian crowd from the day before had returned, and they were edgier than ever. A rank of guards had replaced the usher, and they were trying to push them away. They did provide ample distraction, however, so I took the chance to slip through. If I could get as many guards’ attention as possible, then draw them back outside, it would give the others the opportunity they needed.

However, just as I was about to pass the throngs, a rampart guard cried out. The alarm sounded, and all attention fell upon me.

“It’s her, the Grey Warden!” shouted a guard. “Kill her!”

Cursing, I bolted. The guards closed in, trying to fence me between themselves and the crowd. I cut down the first soldier, but the others pressed forward. With so little room to move, my blows grew weak, and a sword struck my shoulder. I yelped, falling back.

“Help us!” roared another guard, appealing to the citizens. “She’s responsible for the death of King Cailan!”

“No!” a man yelled back. “We’ve had enough of Loghain’s lies, and Howe’s incompetence!” He picked up a stone and threw it at the guard. “For the people of Denerim!”

The others rallied at his side, finding other items to use as weapons. The guards backed away, regrouping, and I took my chance. I slid through their ranks, sending more men to the floor.

“After her!”

I pelted back to the main street, and the guards took the bait. No sooner had I gone more than ten paces clear of the gate than their cries filled the air. An icy blast blew past the back of my neck; Morrigan’s favoured spell. I turned, taking down the soldiers still standing.

“It’s a trick, fall back!” bellowed the guard captain. “Secure the estate!”

“Damn it!” I muttered, as the soldiers fled. They’d figured out the plan. “Morrigan, Leliana, get down here!”

The two hurried to my side, puzzled.

“They’ve sussed us out,” I said. “We have to clear a way for the others.”

“Is that wise?” Morrigan asked.

“They’ll find it harder fighting on two fronts,” I argued. “Plus it seems we’ve got the backing of the citizens, for a time.”

“At the very least one of us can free Anora in the confusion,” Leliana said.

Morrigan gave a conceding nod, and we ran towards the gates again. The guards continued to clash with the crowd, sorely outmatching them, but they were struggling to deal with their numbers. We weaved through the madness, avoiding the sticks and bricks, and finally came to the servant’s entrance. The alarm was still ringing, but there were barely any guards on this side. The others must have made their move.

“We need to find that mage,” I said. “Any leads, Morrigan?”

“Nothing yet,” Morrigan answered. “I believe he must be underground still, as before. I suggest we move quickly.”

Nodding, I broke through the servant’s entrance. The kitchens were empty; probably due to the raised alarm. I retraced our steps to the main hall, watchful for more soldiers. As we set forward, a voice called out.

“There you are!”

I almost jumped out of my skin. Frowning, I looked right, to find Erlina emerge from another room.

“I had wondered if you had caused all that commotion,” she said. “But my queen is still sealed away.”

“Not for long,” I said. “Stay here, we’ll find the mage.”

Leaving the maidservant behind, we headed straight for Howe’s rooms. This time the door was unlocked, and we pushed through. It was just as we had left it. Once more we descended the staircase, entering the dungeons. It was eerily quiet, and I swallowed. We wouldn’t have long before the guards would find us.

“Aha, he is over there,” Morrigan said, pointing to one of the branching passages. “Let us end this.”

I took the lead, my sword and dagger poised. Leliana nocked her bow, and Morrigan charged a spell. We’d make this quick.

However, as I rounded the corner, there was more than just the mage waiting. An escort of guards blocked the passage, and overlooking them from the rear was…

“Well, if it isn’t Cousland’s little spitfire, all grown up and still playing the man,” Howe jeered. He pushed aside the ranks of men, stepping forward. “I was wondering when you’d show your face again.”

My fingers tightened around my sword.

“I’m sorry you had to wait so long,” I answered. “You know we Couslands love to be fashionably late.”

Howe’s brow twitched.

“Actually, I’m surprised you had the audacity to return,” he said. “Must’ve been tempting to run away again, like you did the first time, hmm?”

My lip curled, but Leliana stepped closer, supportive. I wouldn’t give in to his taunts.

“Just look at yourself,” Howe spat. “How the mighty have fallen. Your family’s been wiped from memory, and even the Wardens are all gone. You’re the last of nothing.”

“So long as I still breathe, the Cousland name won’t die,” I shot back. “And it’s the last name you’re ever going to remember.”

Arl Howe snorted.

“And there it is,” he growled. “That damned look in your eye that marked every Cousland success that held me back.” He drew his sword. “Wouldn’t Daddy be proud.”

“I’ll make him more than proud once I run these through your sorry gut!” I spat.

“Ho, such big words for such a little brat,” the Arl answered. “You’ll join him soon enough!”

He signalled his men, and they charged. Yelling, I ran straight at them. White rage was all I knew, and I hacked and slashed and stomped and kicked. Blows rained from all sides, but I dodged and ducked through them, my eyes blazing. Only one thought stood above all else; kill Howe. I pushed a guard to the floor, smacking his head against the stone. Ice and flame danced above me, clearing a path, and at last I was face to face with the man himself.

He caught my first strike on his shield, shoving me aside. I twisted, bracing myself against the wall, then sprang again. He continued to block, his gaze like venom. My ring pinched my finger, and I renewed my swings. Flashes of my family’s faces danced past, renewing my strength, but try as I might, his defence would not break.

Howe gloated, watching me tire. Then he shot forward, slamming his shield into my chest. I choked, and he crushed me against the wall. I collapsed to my knees, dropping my sword, unable to breathe.

“And so, the Cousland legacy ends, as it should have done that night,” Howe muttered. He raised his sword. “Give Bryce my regards.”

I clenched the hilt of my dagger.

“You first!”

I lashed out, and cut through his sword hand. Howe screamed. His sword clattered to the ground, and I leapt at his legs. He fell, crashing to the floor, and I plunged my dagger into his stomach. Blood poured out, soaking my hands, gauntlets and chest, and he gasped. He tried to throw me off, but I held on, watching his skin whiten.

“Maker…spit on you!” Howe choked. His grip around my wrists loosened. “I deserved…more…”

His head rolled aside, and the light vanished from his eyes. I stayed in place, my hands locked around my dagger hilt. When I was confident he would move no more, I withdrew my blade. I sank against the wall, closing my eyes. At long last, it was over. Father, Mother, Oriana, Oren, all of you; your debt has been paid.

A hand touched my shoulder, and I looked up.

“It’s done,” Leliana said. “He will trouble you no longer.”

I nodded, looking over his dead body once more. He deserved far worse, but I was content knowing it was my hand that landed the final blow. He’d so feared the Couslands, and it was a Cousland who ended him. A memory I hoped would haunt him into the afterlife.

“We need to leave,” Morrigan stated. “The seal should be broken now.”

I took a breath, and made to stand. However, when I tried to put weight on my leg, I staggered heavily to one side. Leliana gasped, catching me before I could fall. Blood stained her fingers.

“You’re injured!” She grasped my side, and I winced. Ow. I hadn’t noticed that before.

“It’s nothing much,” I said, making to sit again. Leliana shook her head, plucking at my armour straps. She pulled the leather free, and I looked to my shirt. My left side was bathed in crimson. The edge of Howe’s shield must have caught it. Leliana lifted the fabric, tracing her fingers over the wound.

“Thank the Maker, it’s not too deep.” She pressed her palm against the cut, and I whimpered. “Didn’t I ask you to be careful?”

“I didn’t do this on purpose,” I argued. “Look, we don’t have time to sit here. The guards could be upon us any minute.”

“Sadly, I must agree,” Morrigan broke in. “My healing is not as practiced as Wynne’s, but this should suffice til we escape.”

She knelt down, placing her staff close to the wound. I hissed, my skin burning as the magic mended the tissue. It still hurt, but at least it would be bearable to walk. Replacing my armour, I took Leliana’s hand and hoisted myself upright. Her worried eyes didn’t leave me.

“Don’t worry,” I said, finding my balance. “I’m not getting out of giving you an answer that easily.”

Leliana’s cheeks flushed. “I…that wasn’t…never mind.”

We left the dungeon, returning to the rooms. I had to let Leliana carry my sword; it put too much pressure on my side. However, as we came back to the main corridor, a voice called out.

“What in the Maker’s name are you doing here?”

I spun around, to find Alistair in the opposite room. He bolted to us, brow raised. His sword was shimmering with blood. “Shouldn’t you three be outside?”

“There was a change of plan,” I said. “The guards weren’t as easily fooled as we thought. Where’s everyone else?”

“Keeping the guards busy,” Alistair answered. “Zevran and I split up to look for the mage, but I take it that’s been sorted already?”

“Yes,” I said. “Tell everyone to fall back. We’ll free Anora and join them soon.”

“Right. See you at the main entrance.”

Alistair gave a clumsy salute, then ventured back into the other room. We went southwards to Anora’s chamber. Erlina was still waiting there, and to my relief the blue seal had vanished.

“She remains locked in,” Erlina informed us.

“Leave that to me.” Leliana stepped forward, removing her lock picks. She made short work of it, and the door swung open. Anora stepped out, dressed in a spare guard’s uniform. It wasn’t very well fitting, and seemed quite out of place on her slim frame.

“You have my thanks,” she said.

“My apologies for the delay,” I replied. “We had a problem finding the mage.”

“It could not be helped,” Anora shrugged, though her eyes suggested otherwise. “But we must leave discretely. If Howe’s men find me, I’ll be killed, and if my supporters find me, they’ll escort me home…where my father may also have me killed.”

Well, at least she had a good hold of the situation.

“You won’t have to worry about Howe,” I said. “He’s been dealt with.”

“That at least is some good news,” Anora said. “Now lead the way.”

I turned, a little too quickly as my side throbbed. Grimacing, I held my hand over the spot, then headed towards the main hall. Thank the Maker, I would be more than glad when this mess was…

“Hold!”

I stopped dead. The main doors were open, and standing between them was an armoured woman. She waved her hand, and scores of soldiers filed in, filling the hall. My eyes widened. Andraste, no…

“Elissa, we’re…whoa!” Alistair cut himself short, as he and the others came running. They halted beside us, staring at the platoon of men that now blocked our escape.

“Who is that woman?” Leliana asked.

“Ser Cauthrien,” I answered. “Loghain’s right hand.”

“We do not give ourselves such informal titles, Warden,” Ser Cauthrien stated. Her voice was cold and sharp. “Yet I see you still abusing yours, as did the rest of your brotherhood.”

“I’ve done nothing,” I said. Nothing that wasn’t _necessary_ , anyway.

“I wouldn’t call breaking into Arl Howe’s estate, kidnapping the Queen and murdering the man himself ‘nothing’,” Ser Cauthrien barked. “For these crimes, along with the murder of the King, you and your fellow Warden are under arrest. Stand down, and I will let your companions walk free. Resist, however, and I will show no mercy to any of you.”

I gritted my teeth, and not just for the pain in my side. There were more than thirty men at her back, and Cauthrien’s reputation was not something to be taken lightly. Even if I was at full strength, it would be suicide to put up a fight. And I knew she wouldn’t listen to our side of the story. Loghain must have been waiting for this, knowing we would target Anora.

Damn it, we’d played right into his hand.

I exchanged a glance with Alistair.

“She’s all that stands between us and freedom,” he stated. “I reckon we could take her.”

“And an entire platoon of men?” I muttered.

“That could be trickier,” Alistair admitted. “But I really don’t fancy a stint in Fort Drakon, either.”

“I’m waiting on an answer, Warden,” Ser Cauthrien interrupted, her eyes narrowed. “I’d better like what you have to say.”

I sighed, glancing to Leliana. There was no way I’d drag her into this with me. Not when we could all be killed.

“I’m sorry, Alistair,” I said. This was one battle we could not win.

I stepped forward and threw my blades to the ground.

“I surrender.”


	9. Chapter Nine

Fort Drakon’s air was damp and muggy, and the stench went right to the back of my throat. I had to fight the urge to gag as we were escorted to our cells. Alistair and I had been stripped of our armour, weapons, and most of our clothing, and the stone floors were icy beneath my bare feet. The injury to my side had also started throbbing again, but with the swords at my back, there was little I could do. Screams rang out from the torture chambers, and guard patrols swept each floor. It was almost enough to regret my decision, though thinking about the others soon quashed that. Better for them to walk free with Anora than face death. Besides, no prison was unbreakable, and I was already memorising our route. We’d find a way out.

We wound through to the lower levels of the fort, finally entering a chamber. It housed a filthy cell, scarcely wide enough for the two of us. The guard captain opened it, then threw us inside.

“Where you belong, Warden scum!” he spat, securing the door. “Loghain will see to you soon enough!”

He and his entourage departed. I sighed, picking myself off the floor and checking my side. The cut remained angry and swollen, although thankfully it wasn’t bleeding. I scowled. Morrigan might’ve been a powerful mage, but her healing abilities leaved a lot to be desired.

“Hey, are you alright?” Alistair came to my side, supporting me. “Ah, that looks sore.”

“It feels sore,” I answered dryly. “But I’ll manage.”

Alistair sighed. He helped prop me against the wall, then sat beside me. I leant against the bricks, trying to get comfortable, though it was a futile effort.

“I see why you weren’t so keen to take Cauthrien on,” Alistair said. He clenched his fist. “I still can’t believe we walked right into her trap. Anora must’ve been in on it.”

“Maybe,” I said. “Anora did seem quite concerned for her own safety, though. She didn’t even feel protected in the palace.”

“An act she’d probably been rehearsing in that sealed room of hers,” Alistair snorted. “Either way, I’ve really had enough of being pushed around. Once we get out of here, we’ll do some pushing of our own.”

“So, warming to the idea of becoming king, then?” I asked.

“If it means Anora’ll crawl back into her hole, then it might be worthwhile.”

I snorted back a laugh, and fire burned through my side. I gritted my teeth. How could something so superficial be so sensitive?

“We’ll have plenty of time to deal with her later,” I said, rubbing the tender spot. “Right now, we need to get out of here.”

“Gotcha.” Alistair stood up and wandered over to the door. He examined the lock, tapping it with his finger. “Hmm, a bit rusty, but still works,” he commented. “Wouldn’t be any match for Leliana, though. Think you can send her a messenger pigeon or something?”

I stiffened at her name. I knew Alistair was only joking, but all it did was remind me of our departure from Howe’s estate. Leliana had protested at length after I’d declared surrender, and I hadn’t been able to look her in the eye when we had been led away. Yet again I’d let her down, and the realisation stung deep. I was doing this far too often. But I’d had no other choice. I would’ve never forgiven myself if she’d been hurt, or worse. Not when there was still so much to decide between us.

Alistair picked up on my silence. He returned to my side.

“Things seem a bit awkward between you two, you know,” he said. “Did anything happen?”

I squirmed. I didn’t really want to discuss this. “You could say that.”

Alistair sighed.

“I don’t mean to pry,” he began, “but neither of you have been yourselves since we came to Denerim. You especially. I know you had a falling out about that Orlesian woman, but you settled that, right?”

I let out a long breath. “We did, but I’ve had a lot of other things to think about lately.”

“I can imagine,” Alistair answered. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, I’m being too nosey, aren’t I?”

“A little,” I said. “It’s just…complicated at the moment.” I swallowed, hoping to dismiss the conversation, but then I hesitated. This constant avoidance of my feelings had gotten me no-where, and it was taking its toll. If I didn’t act soon, the rift between Leliana and I would deepen; perhaps to the point of no return.

Maybe some perspective would help.

“Actually, can I ask you something, Alistair?”

“Of course.”

“It’s…It’s going to sound silly,” I said, “but hear me out.” I paused, gathering my courage. Here went nothing. “What if you’d always believed something fundamental about yourself, but then one day you were forced to reconsider it?”

Alistair raised a brow.

“I’m not sure I understand,” he said. “Can you give an example?”

My face reddened. Maker, I felt like I was twelve years old again, asking my brother what kissing was like.

“Okay, say you thought you liked…I don’t know, using a broadsword.” It was the first thing that came into my head. “Something that was always familiar, and you never wanted to try anything else.” I felt like slapping myself. How in the Maker’s name was _this_ the best I’d come up with? “Then someone comes along and shows you how to…er, dual wield.”

Alistair was looking more and more worried, so I rushed to finish. “It seems weird at first, but you get used to it, and it feels more right than anything you’ve done before. But then you wonder. There was never anything wrong with the broadsword, so what changed?”

Alistair simply stared at me, as if I’d ask him to chew through the cell bars. My blush deepened. Maker, this had been a terrible idea. Eventually though his eyes widened, and he looked to the floor, taking great interest in the tiling.

“Oh.” He cleared his throat, absently rubbing his shoulder. At least he’d figured it out quicker than I thought. “You know, I’m probably not the best person to ask this.”

“You said you’d answer!”

“That was before I knew what you were asking,” Alistair replied. “But since it’s you, I’ll try.” He took a breath. “Perhaps there _was_ nothing wrong with the broadsword, but it just wasn’t the right weapon for you? You were shown something that fitted more with your style. There’s no shame in acknowledging that.”

I gave a slow nod. “Right.”

“My advice would be to follow your instincts,” Alistair went on. “You’ve seen what happens when you let doubt take root, and it’s not good for any of us.” He managed a smile. “Leliana’s important to you. I’ve seen that for a while now. I must admit I’m a little jealous, but…” He shrugged. “I guess broadswords don’t suit you.”

I found myself smiling back. There was my answer. I was a fool not to have seen it sooner.

“Thanks, Alistair.” I rose to my feet, and for the first time, the heavy feeling in my chest started to subside. I should’ve learned by now to stop holding onto the past. It didn’t matter how I’d felt back then. Leliana had shown me my true self, and once we were out of here, I was going to fully embrace it.

“Right, now that that’s sorted, I’m all ears for escape ideas,” Alistair said.

I brushed my fingers over my side.

“I might have a suggestion…”

****

“Guard, I need help here!” Alistair shouted. He was crouched beside me as I lay on the floor. I feigned a moan, clutching my injured side. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad as I was making out, but I had to be convincing.

“What’s all the racket about?” The jailer left his desk and came forward, casting a dirty look through the bars. “I don’t care if she’s got a bad stomach.”

“She’s bleeding,” Alistair pleaded. “At least take a look? Loghain can’t question her if she’s dead!”

The jailer’s eyes narrowed.

“Alright, alright, I’ll take a look, just calm yourself,” he sighed. “Stand aside.”

Alistair backed off, and the jailer unlocked the cell door. I groaned, drawing my knees to my chest. The jailer grabbed my arm.

“Stop squirming, I just need…urk!” He couldn’t finish his sentence; Alistair had snuck behind and trapped him in a headlock. The guard snatched at his arm, but Alistair’s grip was unrelenting. Eventually he ran out of air and went limp. Alistair let him drop to the floor. I pushed myself upright.

“Told you it would work,” I said, rolling the guard’s body over.

“It’s still cliché,” Alistair argued, helping me remove the jailer’s weapons. “Anyway, there’s an armoury below us, they’ve probably put our stuff there.”

Nodding, I walked out of the cell and into the main prison chamber. A stairway led to the lower basement, and the door on the left led back to freedom. However, a guard patrol was approaching, so I closed the door.

“Ah, jackpot!” Alistair had gone to the basement level. “It’s all here, Elissa.”

Relieved, I hurried down the steps. It would be much easier to face the guards this way, although there was probably some shock-value in challenging them semi-naked. Alistair fumbled through the chest, removing his shirt, breeches, and chest plate, amongst other things. I riffled through the mess, reclaiming my own tunic and greaves, and swiftly redressed. My chest-plate remained missing, however, and I sighed. I’d have to be careful.

“Ah, that’s better,” Alistair declared. “Now, much as I’d love to stay for the renowned Fort Drakon cuisine, I’d prefer dinner at the Arl’s tonight.”

“Won’t argue with that,” I answered. “There’s a patrol coming. We’ll slip past them when they go to inspect the cell.”

Returning to the upper floor, we waited behind a pile of empty chests. I kept my eye on the door, counting my breaths. At seven breaths, the door creaked open, and the patrol entered. Seeing the abandoned desk, they stormed straight to the cell. We hurried in the opposite direction. Alistair pushed the door shut and bolted them inside.

“The rest won’t be so easy,” I said. “Keep on your guard.”

I led the way, tracing our steps to the entrance. As I was missing a vital piece of armour, I made sure to avoid the patrols. I was certain this had been deliberate. They must’ve taken note of my injury.

At last, after a tense game of hide and seek—minus the seeking part—we came to the master hall. This was where the ballistae were stored, and it was illuminated by giant chandeliers. Unfortunately, it also remained crawling with soldiers. I pressed close to the doorway, studying their movements. There were a few blind spots, but a sentry prevented us from reaching them.

“Don’t think we can tiptoe past her,” Alistair whispered. “What now?”

I chewed my lip. A distraction would probably work. Before I could conjure a plan, however, a pair of Chantry priests entered the chamber. Their hoods were raised, so I couldn’t see their faces. They spoke to the guards watching the ballistae. Whatever they said must’ve been important, as they promptly left their post. The priests remained, conversing between themselves, then split up. One came straight to the sentry at our door. I pulled Alistair back into the shadows.

“Are you the officer on duty?” The priest’s voice was strangely familiar.

“Yes.” The woman sounded bored. “And?”

“Oh, I merely wanted to express my condolences,” the priest said.

I blinked. That was an odd thing to say.

The sentry seemed to agree. “I’m sorry, what are you talking about?”

“I mean, it’s very diligent of you to stand guard so admirably,” the priest went on, “but it seems like such a waste. Guarding an entrance in the middle of the fort, when there are much more vulnerable points that remain unmanned? Surely someone of your rank would be better placed elsewhere.”

Suddenly Alistair broke into a grin, and I almost kicked myself. How had I not recognised that Orlesian lilt?

“You know, you may have a point,” the sergeant said. “I joined the army to follow my father’s footsteps. And what do I get? Barracks detail. It’s an embarrassment to my family’s name.” She shook her head. “You’re right. I’m better than this. Let them find someone else to guard their stupid door!”

She walked off, and the remaining soldiers followed her. I raised a brow. I knew bards had silver-tongues, but this was a little too much, even for Leliana.

The other priest walked forward, joining Leliana at our door.

“Dear me, they are a gullible lot, all right,” Morrigan said, lowering her hood and brushing back her messed up locks. “And t’is supposed to be Ferelden’s stronghold?”

“Even the sturdiest walls have weak points,” Leliana answered. It had been a while since she’d donned Chantry robes, but they still seemed to suit her. “We should hurry. Elissa and Alistair must be in the lower cells.”

“Indeed,” Morrigan said. “We cannot let our heroic bard miss rescuing her princess.”

“Well, what has she to fear, when she has her mage sidekick to fall back on?” Leliana teased.

“Sidekick? How dare you!”

I rolled my eyes.

“Well, if the great bard and mage continue this banter,” I cut in, “the princess is going to have to rescue herself.”

The two almost jumped a mile high as I stepped into the light. Alistair came behind me, chuckling.

“Ah, it seems we needn’t have come,” Morrigan said, clearly impressed. “I must say, t’is quite an achievement, even for you, Warden.”

“I was so worried!” Leliana grasped my hand, and I squeezed her fingers. “Thank the Maker you’re alright.”

“We still have to get out of here,” Alistair reminded her. “But it seems you’ve cleared the path for us.”

“Yes, but these disguises will fool no-one now,” Morrigan said.

“At least with four of us we’ll stand more of a chance against the guards,” I said. “Even then, we should avoid unnecessary conflict. Let’s go.”

We headed towards the chamber exit, into another passage. Since the patrol had just left, it remained empty. I licked my lips. Only the entrance hall awaited, and then we would be back in the city. Thank the Maker; I wasn’t sure if I could endure any more delays.

Leliana and Morrigan ran ahead, crossing into the entrance hall. Alistair and I were right behind, when suddenly the gate slammed shut. We skidded to a halt, almost colliding with the bars.

“Elissa!” Leliana looked back, her eyes wide. Alistair swore. We exchanged a horrified glance, then turned to the other exit. The doors, open mere moments ago, had now been shut as well. Only the captain’s office remained accessible, but that led no-where.

“Maker’s breath, this isn’t good.” Alistair gripped the bars, but they wouldn’t budge. “Morrigan, can’t you freeze this or…”

“Sorry, you will have to manage yourself,” Morrigan cut him off. I followed her gaze, and cursed. Another guard patrol had marched into the entrance hall. They surrounded Leliana and Morrigan, trapping them. I couldn’t gawk for long, though, as footsteps approached from the captain’s office. I spun round, and my jaw hung slack.

“Ah, I thought I could hear rats squeaking.” Ser Cauthrien sauntered before us, her arms folded. I drew my blades, and Alistair followed suit. Cauthrien huffed. “Don’t be a fool, Warden. You have no hope of defeating me.”

“That’s a bold statement when it’s two against one,” I said, trying not to focus on my lack of armour. A single hit would mean the end. And I was betting she knew this, too.

Ser Cauthrien laughed. “And still you boast such arrogance.” She drew her broadsword. “You will not leave Fort Drakon alive!”

She charged with surprising speed, and it was all I could do to dodge. Alistair braced his shield, meeting the force of her strike, and he almost fell. Dagger in hand, I aimed for the back of her legs, but Cauthrien had already moved on. With the grace of a dancer she turned, her broadsword cutting through the air. It caught my dagger, and I yelped, the tendons in my wrist screaming. On instinct I flung up my sword, but it merely bounced off her mail. Cauthrien’s smirk widened, and she threw her shoulder into my chest.

I staggered back, the wind knocked from my lungs. I was barely able to remain standing. Alistair tried to make a charge of his own, but he was knocked back. He flew into the wall, cracking his head against the bricks. He groaned, struggling to keep his balance.

Cauthrien ignored him, returning her attention to me. She lunged, and I jumped back. Her foot caught my ankle, and I fell onto my injured side. I hissed, the wound smarting, but Cauthrien went further. Her boot slammed into my ribs, and her next blow caught me over my left side. The skin tore open again, and I shrieked. Warmth trickled into my shirt, and I clenched my palm around the site. Maker, no, not there…

“So, Wardens do bleed like the rest of us!” Cauthrien gloated.

“Get…away…from her!” Alistair roared. He stormed forwards like an angry bull, smacking his shield into her face. Cauthrien hissed, tearing her lip, and retaliated with a powerful swing. Alistair stumbled, blood splattering from the side of his face. Cauthrien was relentless, hitting him over and over, until he fell to his knees.

“No…” Weakly I tried to stand, only to have Cauthrien throw Alistair into me. He collided into my side, and we both fell to the ground. Alistair gasped, pushing himself away before he crushed me. I hit the floor, and my blades slipped from my grasp.

“Such a pity.” Ser Cauthrien spat out blood, wiping her bruised lip. “I expected more of a fight from the legendary Grey Wardens.” She grabbed my collar and hoisted me into the air. Blood splattered onto my boots, and my muscles seized up. I couldn’t breathe. “Loghain was right to scorn your kind. You hide behind make-believe and fairy-tales, you have no real substance!”

She threw me back to the ground. Pain sang through my bones, and I couldn’t move. The world grew distant, the gleam of her blade the only sight.

“ _Elissa_!”

Leliana’s scream broke through, and for a moment clarity returned. Cauthrien raised her broadsword, her eyes livid. Instinct took over, and I grasped the hilt of my fallen dagger. Cauthrien thrust her blade downwards, but I rolled aside. The weapon cracked into the floor, and I struck back.

My dagger sank into Cauthrien’s left eye, and she howled. She fought me off, only to shriek as an array of arrows struck her shoulder. She dropped to one knee, and Alistair yelled. He smashed his shield into the side of her head. A sickening crunch echoed, and she fell to the ground, motionless but still breathing.

The last of my strength left me as well, and my legs gave way. Steps rushed around me, and I whimpered.

“We have to get her to Wynne, now!” Leliana draped my arm around her shoulders, but as she tried to lift, I shrieked. Maker, it hurt so much!

“I’ll handle this!” Alistair discarded his shield and sword, then tucked his arms under me and lifted me into his chest. The movement jarred my wounds, but I didn’t have the energy to cry out again. My head was aching something awful, and the darkness was closing in.

“Elissa, hold on!” Alistair broke into a run. “We’re almost out!”

I could only mumble. I was so tired. It would be so easy to give in…

“Keep her talking!” Leliana cried. “Don’t let her fall asleep!”

Her voice jerked me back to consciousness.

“I won’t…fall sleep…” My speech was slurring, and it was hard to think straight.

“Tell me something, anything you want,” Leliana was fighting to keep desperation from her voice. “I know! What’s your favourite colour?”

“Favourite…what?” I forced myself to concentrate. “Blue…I guess…”

“What about food?” Alistair piped up.

“Oh…definitely…sweetcakes,” I murmured. I hadn’t had one in such a long time. “With…extra honey.”

“Never took you for having a sweet-tooth,” Alistair commented. “Okay, why did you name your dog Duke?”

I blinked. “Why…not? He’s…just as regal…”

“Fair point,” Alistair conceded.

“Which is your favourite part of Ferelden?” Leliana asked.

“Ferelden…huh…” Maker, it was getting hard to focus. “Redcliffe…pretty nice…”

“The Arl will like to hear that.” Alistair’s grip around me tightened. “What about…”

And so it went on, each question more ridiculous than the last. Even Morrigan joined in, but by then I wasn’t registering words, and I spouted whatever nonsense came to mind. Yet the haze continued to creep further, inviting me to the dark. Its lure was too much, and the light was fading from my eyes. Leliana called my name, and I seized a breath. I had to say it now, before I’d lose the chance forever.

“Leliana…I…I…”

_I’m so sorry._


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some suggestive themes towards the end, nothing explicit (stop that booing at the back)

My hearing was the first to come back. A breeze whistled past my ears, followed by the crackle of a hearth. Next came touch; I was lying on soft leather, my right shoulder pressed against a cushion, and my left arm was dangling, my fingertips grazing the floor. Something tight had been wrapped around my torso, and my feet were elevated, resting on what must have been the arm of a couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but everything felt terribly heavy and sore, so I didn’t try to move. Smell and sight came last, revealing woodsmoke and a bronze glow on the rafters. None of these things were remotely familiar, though they did let me orient myself.

I let my eyes close again. At least I was alive, though I dreaded to think in what condition. So far, pain seemed a distant memory, and I hoped it would stay that way. As I lay in the twilight between sleeping and waking, debating which way to fall, anxious voices reached me. They were far enough to tell they were in another room, but close enough to pick out their words.

“…all your fault!” Alistair’s voice was accusing. “You should’ve stood up to Ser Cauthrien at the estate!”

“And have her imprison me instead?” Anora shot back. “I couldn’t let her realise I sided with the Wardens. If I’m locked away, I won’t be able to support you at the Landsmeet, and you’ll lose!”

“And in return, we nearly lost our only hope of defeating the darkspawn,” Wynne stated coldly. “I may be well versed in healing, but I cannot perform miracles. Elissa will barely be in a fit state to attend the Landsmeet, let alone make her case.”

“Do you think I wished for this?” Anora snarled. “If you must blame someone, blame Ser Cauthrien! She wounded the Warden, not I!

“Stop this senseless arguing, all of you!” Arl Eamon boomed. A long paused followed, and he sighed. “What’s happened has happened, and no amount of bickering is going to set it right. Let us be thankful the Warden is still with us, and do what we can to speed her recovery.” He cleared his throat. “I can speak to the nobles and delay the Landsmeet for another day or so. It is not ideal, but it is the best I can offer.”

“You are correct, my lord,” Wynne said. “I apologise for my words. We would be better placed to work in a more positive manner. I will try to find some potions to help Elissa regain her strength.”

“And I will pray for her,” Anora said.

The conversation ended there, and I let out a breath. That was enough to stir the pain, and I bit my lip. I’d better check the damage. Gently I felt around my injured side. My shirt and the bandage beneath were saturated with dried blood, and even the whisper of my fingertips was like piercing needles. Grimacing, I let my arm drop. It must’ve been worse than I realised, if it was still like this after Wynne’s ministrations. If only I hadn’t been so careless against Howe.

Abruptly a whine rang out, and something wet licked my dangling fingers. I curled my hand up, and Duke brushed his head against my palm. He barked happily, and I had to smile. He must’ve been sitting here, waiting for me to awaken. Eager footsteps soon followed, along with a voice I’d so longed to hear.

“What’s wrong, boy?”

Duke whined again. His furry muzzle was soon replaced with a warm hand. A light touch brushed the matted hair from my forehead, and I found the strength to open my eyes. Leliana’s grey-blue gaze stared back, filled with relief.

“She’s awake!”

Her shout promptly alerted the others, who flooded into the room. Wynne pushed forward, kneeling beside me.

“How do you feel, Elissa?” she asked.

I tried to speak, but my mouth was too parched. Instead I could only shake my head, and grasp at my throat.

“Leliana, fetch the poor girl some water,” Wynne said.

Leliana nodded. Reluctantly she released my hand, before leaving for the kitchens. Alistair and Anora took her place. I glanced aside, a little overwhelmed. I didn’t like appearing so vulnerable, especially in front of the Queen.

“Thank the Maker!” Alistair breathed. His face bore a new scar, and there were bags under his eyes, but he otherwise appeared no worse for wear. “You really need to stop pulling stunts like this, Elissa. You can’t keep showing off.”

His words made me smile, as I thought back to my near-miss with the black locust poison. That had been close enough. It was not wise to keep banking on luck to bail me out.

“It is good to see you on the mend, Warden.” Anora said, managing a bow. “I can only apologise what you’ve had to suffer for my sake.”

Alistair bristled, and I was glad I was unable to speak my mind. Still, my choice words could wait. No doubt Anora was impatient to push her own agenda, but I would deal with that once I was not in such a compromised position.

Thankfully Leliana choose that moment to return, and she helped me sit. I clenched my teeth, holding my side as the bandage pulled at the dried scab. The room swam, and I gripped the couch, waiting for the dizzy spell to pass. Then Leliana put the glass to my lips, and I took several careful sips. The water was beautifully cold and crisp, and banished most of the pain in my throat.

“How much is it hurting?” Leliana asked.

“Nothing a month of sleep won’t fix,” I croaked. Maker, I hadn’t realised how drained I still felt.

“You lost a good deal of blood, Elissa,” Wynne explained. “We couldn’t even risk taking you upstairs. But while I managed to heal the worst damage, you’ll be feeling quite poorly for the next few days until your body recovers.”

My heart sank. Few days? That was time we did not have. After all we’d done to allow the Landsmeet to go ahead, and now I’d become the limiting step. The irony wasn’t lost on me.

“I am fairly certain I can find some things that may speed the process,” Wynne went on, “but it will not replace a proper rest.” She turned to Alistair. “Could you take Elissa to her room? I’m sure she’ll appreciate a bed more than this couch.”

Alistair nodded. He made to scoop me in his arms again, but I shook my head.

“I think I can walk, with help.”

Wynne frowned. “I would not advise that, Warden.”

“I know, but I want to try.” I answered. “Please?”

Wynne sighed. “A trial is all I’m going to allow.”

I gave a grateful smile. Alistair moved, taking my left arm, and Leliana took my right. Together they helped me stand. My legs wobbled a little, but I was able to put weight through them. With the two of them taking most of the pressure off, we made a slow amble to the hall. Each step made my wound throb, but I didn’t stop until we were at the main staircase, in case Wynne changed her mind. When my arms started to shake, Alistair raised a brow.

“I could just carry you again, you know,” he offered. “I don’t bite.”

“I’m not a baby,” I mumbled. “Besides, I have to save some face in front of Anora.”

“It seems someone’s developed a stubborn streak,” Leliana teased.

I pulled a face, before attempting the steps. It was a painful process, and the others knew it, yet I hid it as best I could. It was stupid—perhaps a mark of the amount of blood I’d lost—but the physical pain was little compared to my mental frustration. Call me mad, but so much of my autonomy had been stripped away recently, and I was sick of it. Even a small act of defiance to keep my spirits up meant a lot.

Eventually we reached my room. Alistair let Leliana take over, and pushed the door open. He didn’t follow as we walked inside, but promised to help Wynne. He closed the door, and Leliana led me to the bed. The final steps proved the hardest, and I all but collapsed onto the mattress, breathless. Leliana held me against her, and I closed my eyes, unmoving. I didn’t want to leave her warmth.

We sat in silence for a long moment, until my breathing calmed. Leliana cast her gaze over me, fretful.

“Maker, you’re a mess,” she murmured. “Let me clean you up a bit.”

Gently she pushed me back, and I rested on the pillows. She stood up, walking over to the bronze basin in the corner. She picked it up and brought it over, along with a piece of fine cloth. Replacing the basin on the bedside table, she sat beside me again and started to unfasten my shirt. I clenched my eyes shut, bracing for the pain. Leliana took her time, taking great care to remove my arms from the sleeves, before peeling away the fabric. I flinched as it came away from the bandage, and she held my shoulder.

“Easy,” she said softly. “Just keep still. I won’t hurt you.”

I could only nod, trying to control my trembling. It wasn’t just for the pain, either. I watched as she dipped the cloth into the water, and then started to clean my face. Her touch was feather-light, the water warm, and it sent pleasant tingles across my skin. She worked slowly, wiping the grime from my jaw and neck. I couldn’t tear my eyes away, entranced by her movements. When she came to my collarbone, the cloth slipped, and her fingers brushed my bare skin. I caught my breath sharply.

“Oh, I didn’t mean…” Leliana withdrew, thinking she’d caused pain, but I shook my head. I reached up and brought her hand back, resting her palm against my cheek.

“I know you’d never hurt me,” I breathed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do the same for you.”

Leliana blinked, bemused. Before she could answer, I brushed back a strand of her hair, and she shivered. Such a perfect golden-red, matching the flames in the hearth. I couldn’t help myself, and started to lean forward. My heart ached, finally realising what had been before me all this time, and how close I’d come to losing it forever.

I’d deny us no longer.

I leant against her chest, and Leliana let out a soft gasp. Her heart pulsed beneath my fingers, and her breathing quickened. I ran my thumb along her jaw, marvelling at the softness of her skin. Leliana’s eyes closed, tilting her head, and our lips touched. This time I didn’t freeze, letting out a contented sigh. I should’ve done this the first time. My arm snaked around her waist, and she pushed herself closer, taking care to avoid my side. She teased me with sweet touches, entangling her hand in my hair, snatching my breath away.

Finally I had to break away, starved for air. Leliana nuzzled my cheek, and I breathed in her beautiful scent. Something I suddenly couldn’t bear to be without.

“I was so scared,” Leliana murmured. She locked her fingers with mine. “It was like the black locust poison all over again.” Her eyes glistened. “Just the thought of losing you forever, when I’d already had to go through that…”

“It’s okay,” I whispered, bringing her hand to my chest. “I’m still here. And I want nothing more than to be beside you from now on.” I softly kissed the corner of her mouth. “Leliana, I…I love you.”

Leliana’s tears fell freely, and she drew me into another kiss. She parted my lips, and I gasped, her tongue gliding over mine. I felt like I’d been wandering a desert and had just come across a fresh mountain spring. Her taste, her warmth, her heart beating beside mine; I hadn’t realised how much I needed it all.

My hands roamed, slipping beneath her shirt and tracing circles on her back. Leliana responded by pulling off the garment entirely. Her face flushed, and for a moment she glanced aside. I studied the old scars on her torso and arms, usually always concealed. I sighed, wondering how many had been made thanks to Marjolaine’s betrayal, and how hard this must be for her.

“Sorry,” I whispered, stroking her shoulder. “I’m…not very good at this.”

My words caught Leliana off guard, and she started to chuckle.

“You seem to be doing fine so far,” she said. “It’s been a while for me, as well. Besides…” Her lips found mine again, and we lay back on the bed. Much too soon she pulled away, grinning. “I know you’re a fast learner.”


End file.
